Can Special Needs Parents Trust Cops?

(Trigger warning: abuse of power, murder of disabled people, self-harm)

There have been some pretty horrible stories courtesy of American law enforcement lately. The first one concerns an Autistic teenager. An undercover cop befriended him, making the cop his first and only friend, and then pressured him to buy marijuana. After the poor boy finally caved (the cop demanded he buy him pot over 60 times before he did, and the boy started self-harming under all the pressure), the cop had him arrested.
What a waste of time and tax payer's money. Many other children were also targeted in this "operation" and the majority of them special needs.
Remember, this is only one story we're hearing about because the parents had the resources to fight this in court. For every story we hear, there are many, many more hiding in shame and silence.

I'm not sure why law enforcement is so short on work that they need to spend their time setting up disabled people. Isn't there something more productive they could do with their time?

The second story brings me to tears every time I think about it, but it's a story that needs to be heard: a man with Down's Syndrome was killed by off-duty police officers because he did not leave a movie theatre when asked. He had watched the movie once and wanted to stay and watch it again. His aide was with him and was working to calm him down and escort him out. However, some off-duty cops decided they weren't moving fast enough, so they restrained him and killed him. Apparently, the last words out of a man who idolized police were, "call my mom...it hurt."
Meanwhile, the cops still have their jobs and are living their lives.

There is just such a horrible lack of understanding concerning disabilities. I'm not saying that people with disabilities should get a free ride - if they are really dealing drugs or not paying for movies, then they need to be held responsible for those things - but the way these issues were handed should not have gone to the extremes of jail time and death.

It terrifies me to think of my son growing older and possibly being a target to the people who are supposed to protect us. What if someone starts yelling at him, tells him to put his hand up, but he doesn't react quickly enough or at all? What if he runs instead, out of fear? Or curls up on the ground in a ball? Will he be shot and killed because of that?

When someone doesn't react or act exactly as you expect, it doesn't make them dangerous, it makes them different. Everyone needs to realize this.

UPDATE: Ethan's family is now suing and hoping for a real court case.

#WondrousWednesdays - Different Standards

I read this fabulous article about how us special needs parents are not "saints" or "angels" - or any of the weird things I've heard/been called.

You don't need to hold us to a different standard. I've said before, things might be different but that doesn't make them bad or worse.

Money or Children

I recently read an article in the NY Times about people choosing not to have children for financial reasons solely. (Go ahead, read it and come back. I'll wait!)

Wanna know what I think? It's silly. I think it's a lame excuse, but it comes out of societal pressure. People who wish to be childfree find themselves having to explain themselves all the time. I don't think that's right.

One, being childfree or not wanting children is a personal and perfectly valid way to be. Society needs to accept these people as they are. They are not defective, wrong, abnormal, selfish (not any more than anyone else I know!) or any other derogatory thing people accuse them of. I've said it before and it applies to most situations in life, different is not wrong!

Telling people they will regret or change their mind is like telling a straight person they will enjoy kissing someone of the same sex if they just try it out once. I really do believe being childfree is just part of how some people are wired. I think nature intended it to be that way.

It is possible that someone will regret not having kids one day, but isn't it more of a problem if you regret having them when you weren't really into the idea in the first place? You're playing with lives here! It's not like you can just return kids like an item at the store. If you are undecided, it's better to err on the cautious side and not hurt anyone else in the process.

Anyway, my point is, if you really want kids, you will find a way. They're not really all that expensive, in my opinion. They don't need a lot of things and certainly not the most expensive of any item. In fact, I've even written before how babies save you money. If you are frugal and creative, you will come up with ways to have all the essentials. But it doesn't have to cost millions.

All this to say, I guess using money as an excuse has become socially more acceptable than just saying you don't want kids. This is good because it gives people and "out" from annoying situations, but bad because there is still work to be done for acceptance.