When I was around five, my mom, sister and I were having a conversation about growing up. I think my sister said she was going to be a lawyer and never get married or have kids (she never changed her mind about the last two, but she changed her mind about being a lawyer).
I said I was going to marry, "a white man with a moustache and have 10 kids!" My mom laughed and told me I didn't have to do any of that, but I assured her I would.
I did marry a white man who had a moustache at the time.
I'm still working on the 10 kids part.
If you read our
About Us page, you'll know I have a 75% miscarriage rate, so getting and staying pregnant is not easy for me.
 |
| Us in Vegas after our vow renewal ceremony. I was in the process of miscarrying our second baby. |
So we've had three angel babies, the Little Man was my fourth pregnancy and I recently signed up to be a foster parent with
Plan Canada. I received the picture of a little boy in El Salvador named Anderson. I hope to foster him til he's 18 and visit him one day, so I consider him my 5th child.
So where are the other five going to come from? LOL
Ok, I don't necessarily need five more kids, but I still think there's room in my heart.
 |
| We still ain't no Duggar family! |
Sometime
last year, we attended fostering info sessions. I started filling out the long application after that. Hubby was not so enthused, and I didn't want to rush into anything. Then he came around and starting filling out his part and now I'm not so sure. Mostly because we're still trying to establish therapy for the Little Man. We're not even sure where we're going to live next year! I've been at my company only five months now and we may move closer to our workplaces and a special school for the Little Man. I feel like there are a lot of unknowns. While I know nothing is ever guaranteed and there's no perfect time to have a kid, there are probably some times that are still a little better than others.
If I didn't often feel so overwhelmed with the uncertainty and preoccupied arranging therapies/visits/follow up phone calls, it would make it easier to add another child to the mix. But I think I'm taxed out right now. There's not a day that goes by I'm not getting on someone's case about my son's file (you have to be or you'll never hear back!) or filling out an application or talking to insurance - it's just too much. I can't imagine doing that with TWO!
But there is still love to give and I really want the Little Man to have a sibling, so it will happen one day and maybe not in the way I expect. You just never know.
