October 31, 2012

Geez, Apraxia AND ASD?

We finally finished the pre-school speech therapy evaluation today. Of course, she still has to go through her notes and write the report, but it looks like the Little Man has Childhood Apraxia of Speech (I just say apraxia, cos I'm lazy like that. Or maybe apraxic myself. Ha ha.) Now, he's too young for her to pin that diagnosis on him, so all it will say is "motor planning speech disorder" or something like that, with recommendations. She recommends DAILY speech therapy.

All I can think about right now is, how do we accomplish that without either of us quitting our jobs? The only thing I can come up with on my own is to hire a driver to take him from daycare, to his appointments and back. Anyone else have any ideas? Because I'm at a loss.

Not that it would hurt, but we can't just go with any speech therapist, we need to work with one who specializes in motor speech disorders. I think I'll wait for the report before I start letting my head explode though.

And I realize I should explain this in lay terms to those who never studied linguistics: apraxia means his muscles work in his mouth. It means his brain has words in it, but when he tries to use his mouth to produce a word, the signals in his brain become all uncoordinated and his muscles don't move in the correct way to make a correct utterance. So basically, he is unable to say everything he wants to say that is in his head. Learning to write/type will probably help him express himself.

The other overwhelming thing to me is to think, gee, he's both ASD AND apraxic. Like, holy hell, there is no God! Seriously, who would do that to someone? Especially a kid! Argh, I just need a few moments of "why him? Why me? Poor him! Poor me!" and then I'll have to let it go or it will depress me. There are many days I believe he is more resilient and determined than I am.

But at the same time, I can pat myself on the back for my instincts and my fight. I've said it many times here I believed he had either apraxia or dysarthria (see, my degree was not wasted!) and I've managed to keep searching for answers. A mama knows her child.