The 2016 Au-Some Conference

I laughed, I cried, I spoke, I stimmed...I attended what I hope will be an annual conference organized by Autism Canada and Every1Games, the Au-Some Conference.

Months in the making, it was amazing working with other autistic adults to plan and make it happen. We had conference calls that left me with a great sense of community, and email exchanges where we were able to respectfully share our opinions on everything from the cost, format, location, vendors, speakers, food, and t-shirt design. Throughout it all, we had the support of Autism Canada, who brought us all together. Planning and discussions were broken up into easy chunks, so the process did not seem overwhelming. Sub-committees were created to have people focused on certain parts of planning as well. This took a great load off my shoulders since I still work full-time. However, our input as being the authorities on the autistic experience were always taken into account and respected.

A big thank you to everyone who took part in the t-shirt fundraiser (which I'm wearing in the video) or contributed to Autism Canada during the campaign. It paid for my airfare and hotel to attend the conference, so I really appreciate that.

I am also grateful for the many new connections I made at this year's conference, as well as seeing many people from last year's conference. When I say I laughed and cried, I really mean it. There's a wonderful sense of community and belonging being able to be with people who really understand you - your tribe. Even without knowing every person there, I know I can be myself and I enjoy seeing other autistics comfortable and in their element.

So without further ado, here is the video of my talk at the conference. Not the best presentation, in my mind, as I had a cold and hadn't practiced my speech at all (oops!). But my words were well thought out and that's what matters. So look past the way it was delivered and listen to what I have to say. I hope it inspires and encourages you!



Kelly Johnson (2016) Autism at Work from Autism Canada on Vimeo.

https://vimeo.com/album/4154026/video/183538493

7 Things Every Boss Should Know About Their Autistic Employees

You may or may not know it, but if you're a decent-sized company, you have Autistic people working for you. We don't always announce ourselves as such, but we're there.
Here are some tips for optimizing the workplace, but it all comes down to treating each individual as valuable and with respect.

1) If you're not sure about our mood from our facial expressions, just ask, don't assume. I tend to rub my head a lot, the way people do when they have a headache, so it worries people who don't know me. I also tend to look very serious. It just means I'm thinking or concentrating. Ask if you aren't sure - don't just think we're in a bad mood all the time or angry at you.

2) Give us alternatives or choices in how we work or organize our workstation. If it doesn't disturb anyone else, let us sit on a therapy/exercise ball, stand, or sit cross-legged. For example, I often sit on my office chair but on my feet and legs. I have even sat on the floor cross-legged in certain offices. If the person is not greeting clients, try to have some flexibility in how they present themselves. Focus on the productivity and happiness of your employees and less about the method or presentation.

3) Encourage us to take breaks and eat, but don't Mother us. If it weren't for others getting up around me and leaving, I often forget to take a break. I do realize I am hungry at some point, but I will often just eat at my desk. Encourage us to get up and stretch our legs, take a bathroom break or eat. Sometimes we are so focused, we forget. Some of us will also have to be told when to go home.

4) If you want us to be involved, you need to directly ask us. I do not assume when someone says, "who wants to go for lunch?" that they want me to join them. I am used to being alone and left out, so I usually just think I am not wanted around. If you want to include me, you need to actually come up to me, say my name and ask. If I tag along but do not say much, it's because I don't know what to say or when to jump in a conversation, but it doesn't mean I'm not enjoying myself.

5) Privately tell us if we've been inappropriate in speech or manner. If our hygiene is not up to snuff, we stand too close to people when we talk, or we've said something rude, take us aside privately and tell us simply. In other words, be direct, but kind. Don't use euphemisms or hint at issues. Even though it can be hard to say, you really do need someone to clearly tell us where we have erred because we honestly don't always know when we've offended and without you pointing it out to us, we can't change.

6) Understand that if we ask for specific accommodations we are not just being spoiled or difficult. Some perfumes and colognes give me migraines. I will not be able to stay at a job I like for very long if my co-workers give me migraines with their scents. Consider making a blanket rule for everyone. Or, as a compromise in one office I worked at, people were not allowed to spray perfume at their desks; they could do that in the bathroom. I was able to manage as long as perfume wasn't being sprayed all around me. Similarly, if we need noise cancelling headphones or ear plugs to function, please allow us those things.

7) We will be your most loyal employees when you let us use our talents and knowledge to their full extent. I have a meticulousness and eye for detail like no one else in my department. I'm really good at finding bugs and problems. Rather than get upset that there are bugs in the code, encourage your employee to keep finding more if that's what they're good at. I wasn't hired to do that, but my workplace is cool enough to let me use my skills to their advantage. There are few things worse than a bored employee who feels like they're wasting their talents, so find out what each individual is good at and let them shine.

You may be interested to read all my other posts about Autistics at work.

What If I Can't?

I love my job and my workplace, and things generally go well, but I was told today that I will not be able to progress if I can't be trusted to be alone in a meeting. In other words, I come across as too brazen and arrogant.

My boss was amazingly caring and gentle relaying this info to me and I really appreciate it. It's also not any surprise to me. It's not something I mean to do, and often I realize I've said too much or the wrong thing not long after I've said it. But by then it's too late. I've broken the communication and relationship with that person. That doesn't go over well in a business setting. Or anywhere really.

Up to now, I've relied heavily on my trusted companions - my husband and understanding people in my office who hold my hand and help me navigate in the dark. But how long can I do that for?

If it's the only thing holding me back from more responsibility (which I would be happy with since it keeps me from being bored and may also mean a bigger paycheck), then it's something I should learn to do on my own.

I cannot just keep justifying, "I am this way because I'm Autistic, take me as I am! Too bad for your feelings!" I do at some point need to grow and at least try to change. And it's not an integral part of my autism. Being Autistic is not a license to be an asshole.

I should at least try and if I fail, if I make mistakes now and then, so be it, I am human. But not trying would make me a real asshole.

There is still that fear in the back of my head - what if I can't? What if I never gain this skill? Then what?

I don't even know where to start. But I have to at least try.

Optimizing My Workplace

In my on-going effort to come out and make my workplace as suited to my needs as possible, I wrote out a list of little details I think will help others interact with me and understand me better.

I'm not specifically asking for any accommodation. They know I can function within their parameters. But I'm essentially telling them this is how to optimize how I work.

Here's the list I gave them:

1.    I am not ignoring you. Rather, I am often deep in thought, even if I look like I’m staring into space. Because of this, I do not always catch the beginning of a question, greeting or statement. Don’t be shy to repeat what you said, wave or tap me on the shoulder to get my full attention. It’s not because I don’t want to interact. Give me a second to disengage from whatever it was I was doing, so I can properly tune in to you. Also, speak slower.

2.    I lack the awareness to know if I should join into a group or meeting, so I need to be specifically asked or invited to join. I often do not join in, not because I don’t want to, but because I cannot tell if my presence is wanted/welcome.
Because of the above, I may also leave a situation abruptly or earlier than others, without much social grace. Again, I don’t intend to be rude. I really am that clueless.

3.    I am very firm in my beliefs and can become very passionate about getting my points across.  This outburst of passion is not anger or irritation and not directed at anyone personally. I am capable of judging ideas and separating that from the character of a person. I can completely disagree with something you say and still respect you as a person. You’ll find that once I’ve chosen you to be my friend, I am very loyal.

4.    My facial expressions may not always reflect my actual emotions. I suffer from “Resting Bitch Face” probably. Smiles and nervous laughter can mask sadness and fear. Despite my often stern or serious look, I have a quick sense of humour, and I am silly and open-minded. Not much fazes me and because I enjoy researching different aspects of human life, I feel like I’ve seen it all. In general, I like to play Devil’s Advocate and try not to judge. When I am angry for real though, I don’t hide it and you will know.

5.    I like to talk about music, health and medicine, alternative health and diet, motherhood and children, languages and grammar, travel, and religions.
I am not at all well-versed in fashion or make-up.  I dislike watching movies, so I tend not to get references to those things. I do like watching TV series like The Amazing Race, Sherlock, Orange is the New Black, Locked Up…
I have a fascination with prison life and the criminal mind.

6.    I consider myself to be androgynous. I do not care for stereotypical gender roles. I love cooking, baking, canning, sewing, knitting and playing guitar. But I also enjoy fixing minor issues on my car, installing things like ceiling fans and lights, plumbing, and general home maintenance.

7.    I really like making lists.
 

Autistic At Work

You may also be interested in my post about Autistic people finding jobs and my first post about coming out at work.

It's been a month and a half since I came out at work, so I thought I would update.

I pretty much just drop subtle hints here and there. I have put up the "no puzzle piece" logo on my desk, as well as a pin that says, "I love my Autistic brain."

One of my teammates confided he believes he might also be Autistic. (Autism must be contagious)

I have a great work environment that is most interested in using people's natural talents, rather than trying to force us into molds. While I do have to learn certain things for my job, the tasks I am given are based on my strengths. I also have a boss who freely gives praise where its due. This really helps me.

He also praises me for accomplishing things he now knows are harder for me than other people. At the same time, he tells me where I've done less than optimal things and shows me how to correct them (usually communication with other departments). In other words, he's slowly teaching me social skills. In general, he takes care of the social aspect for the team, but he's also teaching us to be able to fend for ourselves.

In general, I believe I owe a lot to just being in a great environment. I don't have any regrets disclosing my diagnosis. I simply feel freer to just be myself.


You might also be interested in reading, Asperger's on the Job (Canada) or Asperger's on the Job (US version). This book helped me make the decision to come out at work with confidence and I lent a copy to my boss to read.