We Have A Disabled Parking Pass For A Reason

We have a disabled parking pass for a reason - now stop giving us the stink-eye!

We've only had our disabled parking pass for a few months, but we've already noticed it causes people to stare at us (more than normally) and sometimes give us dirty looks.

I get it, none of us are elderly. None of us use a wheelchair or walking aids. None of us "look" disabled, whatever that may mean to most.

I went through the legal process to get one like anyone else. I paid the fee and had a doctor sign off on it. The government approved it and issued it. It's not like I found one on the black market.

I got it because every once and a while, the Little Man has a penchant for bolting. Ok, not really a penchant, but a tendency. It happens when he gets angry or upset usually. He's not an eloper or a wanderer. He's a runner.

He tends to do it when things are not going his way - and a common scenario for that would be when we quickly have to leave a store because he wants every shiny item in it and if we stay there, things will break (I've had that happen. Luckily, no one made me pay for damages!)

So then the next logical thing would be to exit the store and run away from me, usually into a parking lot. I think we can all agree this is not safe. So rather than having to drag a screaming, unpredictable, potential-bolter through a parking lot and hope for the best, we applied for a disabled parking pass so we would always have the closest parking to the door. Because I don't want my kid to get hit by a car.

I know I don't have to explain myself or justify myself to anyone (or at least, I shouldn't!) but I have to admit, being stared at or given the stink-eye by strangers is kinda annoying. I'm not writing this for people who understand not all disabilities are visible. I'm not writing this for people who get that everyone has a story. I'm not writing this for people who understand some parents will do anything and everything in their power to keep their kids safe.

I'm writing for those who don't think, or haven't ever considered the possibility, that disabled parking is not a privilege afforded, but a RIGHT to make sure disabled people, whatever their disability, have safe and easy access to every public place, just like anyone else.

I will keep taking him out - I will not hide him in my house in order to make other people more comfortable - and one day he will get to a point where he won't bolt. When that day comes, I will gratefully give up our disabled parking pass and be thankful there are systems in place that make sure we are treated with equality. 

Is School Safe?

(Trigger Warning: abuse of power, injuries against a disabled person)

Just recently, I wrote about law enforcement abusing their powers and how they may not always be trusted to protect when it comes to the special needs population. Scarier still, these sort of "above the law" attitudes can infiltrate all areas of society, including our school boards and schools.

This seems to be what happened last month to Shawna, mother and blogger at InnerAspie. About three weeks into the school  year, her normally happy and active 9 year old Autistic son, who she refers to as "Beans" in her blog, became quiet and extra cuddly. A bit before this, her maternal instincts told her something didn't seem quite right. She was not getting very clear information from his teacher in his communication book each day and he also completely stopped drinking. Looking for more feedback and answers, she scheduled a visit with the teacher.

Before this meeting could take place though, he came home one day with horribly bruised wrists (pictures on her blog). She immediately took him to the ER for x-rays. He is non-verbal, so she could not get any clear answers from him about what possibly happened. The next day, she took him to his regular doctor, who said the marks looked like he had been restrained. They could see the imprint in his skin of what could possibly have been a shoe print or jewellery. It is very hard to tell from x-rays of all the small bones in the wrists of a still-growing child, but there was possibly a small fracture.

No one thought to call and inform her of this. It did not happen in her home or on the bus - it had to have happened at school and no one is owning up to it. Even if it was an accident, why didn't anyone contact her to say what happened? These bruises were so huge, how could they not have been seen?

She called the police to make a report and was sent to the school police department, which is not exactly the most impartial authority, but she had no choice. Through their investigation, she was able to find out his para took him off his morning bus and reported the bruises to the nurse (the para claims). The nurse only has a record of examining the child at 10:30am. Why did it take her two hours to see him? The nurse said she wanted to call the parents, but that the teacher told her not to.

Really?

You know what? If my child were injured at school, I would much rather get two phone calls, even if they are redundant, than to get no phone call at all. Even with all this, no one is able to explain where these bruises came from. There are only three children (including Beans) in this class. These children are not supposed to be left alone. How could no one see an injury like this? Why doesn't anyone know what happened?

Even with all of the authorities involved - from police, to Child Protective Services, to the Special Ed Coop (which governs about 16 schools) - no one is admitting any wrong doing and she has no answers or solutions. So she is doing what she can do to keep her child safe - she is keeping him home and will home school him for at least this year, until either another school or safe option can be found.

This is a horrible disservice to an innocent child who did nothing wrong, never had any issues with school before and loves going to school. He is the one losing out on being out with his classmates because a teacher, or someone at the school, could not keep him safe. Did someone abuse their power and decide that forcibly restraining a 9 year old boy was the right thing to do? This person is still in contact with other children. Are these children safe?

What Shawna wants now is for everyone to know this story and for the higher governing bodies to know what is going on in their local districts. The lack of accountability in this case is appalling and it needs to be known. This is also tax-payer's money feeding these systems and this system is falling this boy and many other special needs children, no doubt. Remember that for every story you do hear about, there are always countless others suffering in silence because they do not have the resources or capacity to challenge. 

What Does Drowning Look Like?

This video gives me the chills every time I see it. Even though summer is almost over here, this is still something everyone should watch. Keep a close eye on the video and see if you can spot a person drowning. It's not as easy as you may think, nor may it look like you expect.

Kudos to the quick action of the life guard. Things could have been much worse. 

Safe Bed, Safe Baby

Did you hear the story of the eight-month-old baby who died because of her bed? This is just so so sad.

In this case, the parents really thought they were doing things right and they had the advice of a social worker. It's really just tragic!

I am a huge proponent of both bed sharing and co-sleeping. I really believe babies need to be near their parents. I understand wanting an adult life back, but to be honest, babyhood is so short; it's not really that long in the grand scheme of things. It's not like they'll be teenagers and still hanging out in your bed.

I think the lesson here is to make beds as safe as possible and to check on your baby regularly. Even when so small, they sure can move around a lot! Don't underestimate the power of a little one!

I feel sorry for this family and I hope they find peace.

Secret Password

I'm surprised not more people know about this, so I'm hoping I reach a lot of people with this info. It's about having a secret family password (article in French).

I had one growing up. It's a special way to help reduce the chances of child abduction. The way it works is you and your child come up with a special secret word. You teach your child that if someone other than the regular person who's supposed to take them home ever shows up at school or at an activity and tries to take them home, they must say the password. 

This means that even if Uncle Bob, who the child knows well, tries to pick them up, the child must not go with them until the password is said. Since abductions are often committed by family members, this is one way to minimize the risk. 

It also means that if you are sick, injured or stuck at work and need to send a family friend to pick up your child, you have a backup plan in place - you can give them the password. I then recommend changing it to something else for the next time. 

Don't think your family or friends are so perfect they would never abduct your child. This is everyone's worst nightmare, but it's also somewhat preventable.