Diagnosis Day

Diagnosis Day

You sat down, the doctor gave the news

In some ways it's such a relief

But inside there's still a part of you

That wants to curl up in grief

"I'm still your baby," she says.

"I'm still the same one you love.

I'm still the same child you hold 

Close to your heart so snug."

Don't worry about anything yesterday

I know this wasn't by choice

Just take each moment day by day

And in small victories rejoice

~Kelly Bron, January 2015

Life After Adult ASD Diagnosis - A Year Later

It has been over a year since my official diagnosis of ASD and SPD, and I feel like I've changed so much.

My journey started with learning and self-acceptance, and moved more towards advocacy.

I'm open and honest about who I am. I am open and honest about my limitations. I try not to boast about my gifts :) I still have a lot to learn.

Being open and proud has helped a lot. Not succumbing to the pressure to "be normal" has taken a huge weight off. Similarly, being able to tell people exactly what I need and how I work has helped for mutual understanding. I can explain when/why I come off the wrong way sometimes.

I think disclosing has been beneficial for me because when I tell others, I am able to get better feedback about how they perceive me. When I understand how I am sometimes giving off the wrong signals, so to speak, I can work to improve on that. Suffice to say, I'm still learning social skills and this awareness has helped.

My picture for the Amazing Autistic Women project

With diagnosis, I joined a club and met so many amazing people so far. I'm still learning and it's pretty cool.

Delivering the Diagnosis News to Daycare

The Little Man has been in full time daycare for almost 6 months now, but even though we had the autism diagnosis before then, we chose not to disclose that info to our daycare educator. It was a choice we didn't take lightly and we decided it was better that she wasn't biased. He is easy-going enough and we figured she would eventually figure it out for herself that he was a little different.

Well, it didn't take long for her to notice his peculiarities, but she was flexible enough to work with him and not against him. She figured out quickly what kind of discipline works and what doesn't, and she is super patient. Sometimes, not knowing you are dealing with a special need's child produces far more creative and efficient results than knowing and giving up. I mean no disrespect when I speak of people giving up - but the fact is, a lot of people (not the parents usually, but others) give up trying to work with a special need's child and don't set the bar very high because they think the child doesn't have potential. If you go in with the attitude that every child has equal potential, you will usually try harder to help each child achieve their best. 

That feeling you get when you hear the news the very first time.

Last night, I made an appointment with her to chat about the Little Man and finally come clean about his diagnoses. My only regret about this conversation was the way I delivered the news. It doesn't faze me any more to say my child is autistic and apraxic, but I forgot about the feeling you get when you hear the news for the very first time. She cares about him deeply and she got tears in her eyes. I told her a therapist would probably be coming into her home to help him and she said she would do anything to help him. We spoke about the best time of day for him and the number of hours needed. We totally agreed and I am confident despite having only worked with him for 6 months, she knows him very well and loves him like her own. We know we totally lucked out with this daycare worker. She truly is a blessing to our family.