The Au-Some Conference

ASD Canada Conference Logo 2016 Au-Some Conference

Join Autism Canada and Every1 Games at the Au-Some Conference in Hamilton, ON, this Au-gust 20th, 2016.

Why?

Because I'm speaking. But also because it will be at least as fun as the last Every1Games Unconference I attended last year.

Registration is open right now and limited to 100 attendees. On the registration page, you can also make a donation towards the conference, which will help an Autistic person attend, or help pay for my trip out there.

Let me know if you'll be there! If you can't make it, all talks will be recorded and put on the website after, so you don't have to worry about missing out on everything. 

Life After Adult ASD Diagnosis - A Year Later

It has been over a year since my official diagnosis of ASD and SPD, and I feel like I've changed so much.

My journey started with learning and self-acceptance, and moved more towards advocacy.

I'm open and honest about who I am. I am open and honest about my limitations. I try not to boast about my gifts :) I still have a lot to learn.

Being open and proud has helped a lot. Not succumbing to the pressure to "be normal" has taken a huge weight off. Similarly, being able to tell people exactly what I need and how I work has helped for mutual understanding. I can explain when/why I come off the wrong way sometimes.

I think disclosing has been beneficial for me because when I tell others, I am able to get better feedback about how they perceive me. When I understand how I am sometimes giving off the wrong signals, so to speak, I can work to improve on that. Suffice to say, I'm still learning social skills and this awareness has helped.

My picture for the Amazing Autistic Women project

With diagnosis, I joined a club and met so many amazing people so far. I'm still learning and it's pretty cool.

How My ASD Diagnosis Changed Me

It has been just over six months since I got my official ASD diagnosis. It feels longer for some reason, but not in a bad way. It's amazing how much I've changed in the last six months.

I have embraced my diagnosis with open arms, using it as a catalyst for self-discovery and new levels of self-awareness. Mostly, I have felt empowered by it. I feel authentic. I no longer feel ashamed of myself and because of that, I feel I can live more like my true self. I am allowing myself to be me, just the way I am, without negative judgment. And that is so freeing.

I know a lot of people say they feel like diagnosis makes them "act more autistic." I guess I can say a similar thing, in the sense that I am allowing myself to be naturally, quirky me. I no longer try to hide my stims. I accept them as needed and helpful, for the most part.

I "came out" at work, which has been both good and bad. Good because it has given me a way to fight for acceptance and bad in the sense there is still a lack of understanding of what it really means to be Autistic. However, I guess I can't accomplish everything in six short months. Still, there is hope for improvements and I don't regret doing it.

I have felt more empowered to stand up for myself and my family. I would have said I was always a strong person, but truthfully, I lacked certain skills when it came to dealing with my mom. I came to the realization that I was still doing things simply to "keep the peace" or make her happy at the expense of myself and my family. I finally found the courage to put my foot down. Case in point, normally I would have gone to her place for Easter dinner, not because that's what I want, but because it would be what *she* wants and I would suffer through it. She is just a very negative and controlling person and being around her makes me anxious a lot of the time. I refused to go, which of course made her angry, but she'll get over it. Instead of turning my life into chaos and bending over backwards to make it work for her, I've had a very relaxing weekend with my little family at home. That peace of mind is priceless.

I have become better able to let anxiety and other stressful emotions wash over me, rather than panic. I think understanding that my anxiety stemmed mostly from over-stimulation of the senses and learning to listen to and accept my limits, means that I am a much happier and calmer person. Before I didn't really understand what I was panicking about, which can be pretty scary. Now I am more aware of my sensory issues and finding ways to work with them. I accept that I can take time-outs for myself and I can find ways to recharge and cope. I no longer blame myself for what I previously perceived to be "failings" or "weakness."

On this day, which also happens to be my 13th handfasting anniversary, I think back to the vows we wrote for each other. One line was, "to delight in who you are becoming." We knew over time we would both change and we decided to accept that off the bat. I know my husband still delights in what I am becoming and I delight in his changes as well. But I can also say that I am also taking great delight in who I am becoming.

As I sit perched in my new hanging chair - which my husband worked hard to mount for me, knowing it would calm my sensory issues - I can't help but delight in the whole process of becoming more me. 

Adult ASD Test - The Results

Note: The other steps in my testing can be found here and here.

I FINALLY have my results in my hand!

First of all, I want to acknowledge there are lots of pros and cons to getting officially tested and there are a few other bloggers who have given very sage advice. I'll link to them here when I find them again.

For me, so far I see a HUGE benefit because I got more information than I was expecting. In addition to clarifying my ASD-status, I was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). This is great information. I've been recommended to see an OT to get some help for myself. I feel like I'm finally being heard, understood and better able to understand myself. It's amazing to realize all sort of things in  my life had a reason - that I'm not crazy! I can't really explain how freeing that is. It feels like I am just blossoming and with the right help, I can be even better than I was before.

Some people call their diagnosis date their New Birthday. I totally get that now.

I've spent the last few years getting the right help for my son. It's my turn now (he's doing really well!) and it's a really great feeling.

Happy New Birthday to ME! 

Montreal Meet Up

Are there any Autistic adults who would like to meet up in Montreal? I started a meetup group: http://www.meetup.com/ASDAdults/

#WondrousWednesdays - Yes, That Too

This Wondrous Wednesday I'd like you to meet Alyssa. Without further ado, I'll let her speak for herself:

I'm a 20 year old Autistic person as I write this, though I'll be 21 by the time this gets posted since there are no Wednesdays between now and my birthday. I will also be either in China or on my way to China. [I'm a triple major- mathematics, mechanical engineering, and Chinese are the majors.] I'm initially from the New England area, and I never really left except for the whole study abroad thing. My personal blog is Yes, That Too, which also has Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter existences, and I seem to acquire other blogs as I go. I've got posting privileges on We Are Like Your Child, Autistics Speaking Day, Autism Positivity Flash Blog, and probably some others I forgot, plus I ran a few flash blogs where I'm an admin. Oh, and I attempt to run a business called Because Patterns, though cards are all I ever really manage to sell. Yes, That Too is a whatever-I-want blog, and it's been pretty heavily disability for as long as I've had it.

I've worked as a grader and/or classroom assistant with the Art of Problem Solving since I graduated high school, which has been great. I've also tutored and graded on and off at my college's math department (good,) worked at the information technology help desk (terrible because it made my phone anxiety even worse,) and done research in nanotechnology (really, really cool but also slow.) 

 What is your biggest challenge with your disability?

People's reactions when I tell them I'm Autistic might actually be the most challenging thing about it. I wish I were joking, but... yeah I think that might be the hardest thing to deal with. I get insistence that I'm not really autistic, demands that I call myself a person with autism instead of an autistic person (totally fine being asked why I have a given language preference, but telling me I can't have it is bad,) and people starting to talk to me like I have an intellectual disability (bad because of the way people talk to people with intellectual disabilities, not because of some idea that I'm better because I have a higher IQ or whatever.) Oh, and every disagreement ever is now because I'm autistic and don't really understand. I guess that means my biggest challenge from being Autistic is ableism.

What is the greatest gift from your disability?

I have to choose only one? :(

I don't know if "immunity to culture shock" or hypergraphia/hyperlexia is the one I should pick. I'll go with the hypergraphia/hyperlexia, since immunity to culture shock is a nice application of an impairment and the hypergraphia/hyperlexia means I don't need to edit my papers for school and I can blog daily.

What’s one thing you want people to know about your disability that many don’t seem to understand?

Autistic people are people. Like, I know it seems simple enough, but I think that's really at the root of a lot of the problems I run into: people seem to have this idea that if I'm Autistic, I'm not quite a real person, and I think that's why they think a lot of the stuff they do is OK. [I think reminding folks of this fact is where person-first language started out, and if it worked I'd probably like it a lot more than I do.]

A work of Alyssa's Art

What has been the best part of maintaining a blog?

Well, writing is the way that I process things that happen. If I don't write, it's hard to process, and if I don't have a thing that I want to do with the writing, it might not happen. So blogging helps me process stuff, both my daily life stuff and rest of the world stuff.

What is a typical day like in your life?

That's super-dependent on time of year and such, since college vs. summer makes a huge difference. Over this past summer, it's been get up, get on computer, read what all happened on Facebook and Tumblr since I went to sleep earlier than everyone else, if I see anything I want to write about I do. Then I eat food, and I'll either read other stuff or fool around on the internet or work on any of my longer projects. Those include a book about Tamora Pierce's work and neurodiversity, a paper on the erasure of Queer Autistic people, and getting ready for China. I'll move around between those things, plus I'll eat a couple more times. If it's a day that I assist class, I'll log in around 7:15-7:20pm and I'll go to sleep soon after class ends. In China I'm not sure what the typical day is going to look like.

What’s your favorite pastime?

I really like playing Ultimate. 

What’s your favorite food/drink?

That totally varies by day. Whatever I'm craving at the moment, which tends to be noodles or pickles or chicken legs. I also really like hot tea with a little bit of sugar and a lot a bit of milk.

What’s a question I should have asked about you?

That's super open-ended, and I am not actually able to make my brain give me an answer. Certain kinds of questions can send me into a cognitive mess, and that's one of the questions that does it. So I guess I'll just point out that there are other A/autistic people who have this kind of issue instead of answering. 

Anything else you’d like to share - a tip, words of wisdom, a recipe, a poem?

Really think about your goals. Ask yourself: Am I doing this because it helps me do what I want to do, or am I doing this because I think it's expected? [Ask yourself something similar when it comes to therapy/education for disabled kids- is it to help them do what they want to do, or to make them look less disabled? Those aren't the same thing.]

Would you like to recommend other bloggers my readers would be interested in reading or whom I should interview?

I don't think any of them would be game for interviewed, but Amy Sequenzia, Amanda Baggs, and Neurodivergent K are people I think are really good to read.