#WondrousWednesdays - Tips

I didn't have anyone to interview this week, so I'm posting interesting posts, tips or articles I've found helpful over the week and could be useful for others.

Adult SPD and ADHD issues

3 Causes of Anxiety and What To Do About Them

How To Teach A Child To Tie Shoes In 5 Minutes

The Floating Bed - I want one! Birthday present?

Tips For Living With A Toddler

Back to School Rant

from http://kidshealth.org/

The Little Man is starting pre-school in September. I've never sent a child to school before, I'm a little apprehensive.

Not only that, I have no clue what time the bus is supposed to pick him up or drop him off, which makes it a little hard to plan our schedules.

On top of that, all the back to school sales are RIGHT NOW and no one has told me what to buy!

Maybe it's no big deal, since it's just preschool, but can someone help a mama out?

I need to pack lunches he will actually eat....omg, I need some tips. I need to not panic.

Special Needs Parents

I once heard there's no such thing as "special needs children," there are actually just "special needs parents." It's a different way of looking at things and a reminder that us parents are special and need to take care of ourselves. We have different needs from other parents because we have different (or more) responsibilities. We worry about things other parents don't have to. So with all that on our plate, we need to take good care of ourselves.

I've shared my tips on how my family does goal setting and I want to share how we take of ourselves in our unique way.

Go It Alone!

I heard this tip from a couple (it was in O magazine) who defined it as a reason for success in their long term marriage: spending time apart.

This might sound counter-intuitive since Hubby and I hardly ever get time alone together, but for us at least, we also need time completely alone. So while it is important to have "date nights" to strengthen the relationship, "absence makes the heart grow stronger" also. For us, it's important to get completely away and rejuvenate. We don't go far - we book a night at a local hotel and check in all alone! We take turns once a month or so, so every two months, I literally get my chance to sneak away.

Important points for success:
-Resist the urge to tell anyone else where you are!
-Your partner or babysitter must agree not to call you unless someone's arm has fallen off or the house is on fire (and even then, there's not much you can do about it, so why bother you now?)
-Resist the urge to call and "check up" on them.
-Plan the day away ahead of time. You cannot just up and leave when you want. Make sure the rest of the household routine and responsibilities are taken care of. Both agree on the date you will be absent and create a care plan around it. Your partner might need to have an extra person around to help them in your absence. Only leave when it is convenient, but don't make up excuses to never do it. Your partner, or you, may find out it wasn't so hard alone taking care of the kids. In my experience, our son is better behaved and calmer when there's only one parent around...usually.
-Use the time to do whatever you want to do or do absolutely NOTHING without guilt! Last time, I arrived and enjoyed the complete silence of the room. I didn't even turn on the TV. I brought a pile of magazines I had piling up (need to cancel some subscriptions!) and just spent hours leisurely leafing through them all. It was wonderful!

Keep a Routine

As much as your children love routine, so should you! That means sleep (especially sleep!), meals, taking daily vitamins, yoga, meditation, reading a book, getting physicals - whatever it is that keeps you healthy - make sure you don't forget about them! Schedule them, set timers if you have to, but do it for yourself, guilt free. Believe me, I know there are some days I'm just trying to get out the door and we've had a tantrum of a time just trying to get dressed. Sometimes I think "maybe I should just skip brushing my teeth or eating breakfast," but NO, don't fall into the trap! Give yourself those 5 minutes to get what you need to get done and you'll feel so much better. We can't all start our days feeling like rock stars every day, I know this. But promise me you'll at least give yourself a chance to brush your hair and feel human. Let's start there.

Talk To People Who Get It

Having a rough day and need to vent? Calling up your best friend with the neurotypical kids might not cut it. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone who gets it. Maybe you met someone at a support group or on an online community. You don't have to be best friends and sometimes it's better that way. You know you can talk to this person and not have to explain everything. Find one or two of those people. Be the same sort of support for them when they need it.
Don't just share negative issues though - call them to share your joy. Every one needs an ally. We can't go through this journey totally alone.

**Some more advice and resources for special needs families.

**A Bill of Rights for Special Needs Parents.

Two Tips for Living With a Toddler

If you've thought of these things yourself, well why didn't you tell me about them?! Geez!

If not, I hope these two little tips help make your life a little easier. I feel like a genius for coming up with them!

The first tip is for those adjustable waist pants. These are great, I love them (why can't they make adult sizes?!) but I HATE when the little elastic disappears into the waist of the pants after washing. Makes me crazy. Another tip; to fish it out, I use a pair of tweezers and dig it out. It's a chore, but it works.

Anyway, I came up with a few ways to prevent it from happening in the first place. Either use a safety pin to secure the elastic before washing or just bend the elastic over the button a few times, like this:

I do it two or three times, just to be safe.
My washing machine is angry at me now for outsmarting it. Ha ha!

Mom: 1
Washing machine: 0




My second tip involves Huggies Bed Mats - they're not just for beds!

We have a futon in the living room and with potty training and the regular spills, I try to protect it. I've had it covered with a water resistant (not waterproof, that would be too crinkly and hot in the summer) cover, but since it's only water resistant, it doesn't protect 100%. So I got the genius idea to cover the cover with Huggies Good Nites Disposable Bed Mats.

From this...

...to this! And no one is none the wiser!

Surprisingly, they are not crinkly at all, so there's no noise and no one knows we're all sitting on bed mats! Next leak or spill, I just have to wash the cover (which is a wonderful quilt made by my best friend) and change the disposable mats. So happy! 

Disclaimer: Huggies did not compensate me in any way to endorse their product, but I would love it if they did. Yoohoo, Huggies, send me some coupons! I'm over here! Tell Huggies I'm over here writing about them so they send me some free stuff! :)

Breastfeeding Basics

-Give it three weeks. After three weeks, it will be easier, but give yourself that time and don't give up. Find something that motivates you and remind yourself often. In my case, I cut out the price of formula from a flyer and said, "no way am I paying for that!" I also reminded myself that this is a very short term sacrifice in the 18 years or so I have to raise him.

-Relax, relax, relax or you won't let down and you'll have one pissed off baby. Forget everyone else, look, smell, talk to and concentrate on your baby. Relax all your muscles, breathe deeply and next thing you know, you've let down.

-Arm yourself with lots and lots of nursing pads. Depends on how often you want to do laundry, but have at least 6 pairs of reusable ones or lots of disposable ones. And get good reusable ones - thick cotton. Don't bother with the thin ones, you'll soak right through.

-Have a good breastfeeding pillow or other cushion. I also recommend nursing tops for going out in public, especially the first few times you try it.

-Wait to buy a lot of nursing bras. You can get one or two before giving birth, but get a cup size up from what you are. Try to leave the major shopping til after your milk comes in. You might want to change them again at 6 months, when you'll be making a litre of milk a day and may even be bigger than before.

-Make sure your nipples are always dry. With the exception of let down when feeding, change nursing pads the minute they're damp. Don't leave a damp one on.

-Don't ever sit through a bad latch. Don't say, "oh, it's only a few minutes for this feeding." NO. If it hurts, start over, otherwise you'll ruin your nipple (cracks, tears, pinches) for the next feeding and it hurts like a B to have to continue feeding on a hurt nipple. Just sayin'.
This also means you have to be vigilant at night, if your baby suckles during your sleep.

-At the beginning, check your nipples for damage every day. Catch problems fast before they become bigger.

-Growth spurts commonly occur at 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months. These are trying times. Thankfully, they don't last long. But nothing made me want to give up more than dealing with growth spurts and for some reason, he did them at night, which might be why my patience was low.
You'll notice it by having a fussy baby wanting to eat every hour. You will be sore and tired. Find a way to cope without killing anyone. Now is not the time to try a bottle, otherwise your milk production won't keep up and you'll just prolong the agony.

-Teething can also be tough since he just wanted something in his mouth, but getting him out of the bed helped break the temptation to use mama as a teething toy.

-One boob will always make/store more milk than the other, but try from the beginning to alternate when you only have colostrum. I didn't listen to them at the hospital and wanted to start actual breastfeeding techniques (emptying one breast) instead of alternating, and I ended up with one giant boob when my milk came in. Took a while to correct and I still have one holding way more milk than the other.

-You can feel really weird, almost flu-like, when your milk comes in. Some people get panic attacks, some people sweat profusely, I shivered like crazy. I was totally freezing despite being wrapped up in bed with the heater on. Once my milk came in, I was fine.

-Even if you don't notice a difference, your baby will probably prefer one nipple over the other. If they are very different (mine are in size and one was previously almost inverted) you will have to still force baby to take the one they don't really like and learn two different latching techniques.

-If you get thrush, try gentian violet. Apply it once a night for seven nights and your baby will look like a goth wearing lipstick. It stains EVERYTHING. In addition to that, you can rub regular Canesten cream in their mouth 3-4 times a day after feeding and on your nipples after each feeding. Change your nursing pads often!
You'll know you have a thrush infection when letting down feels like shards of glass are slicing through your boobs.

-You can try lecithin capsules to help prevent or heal milk blisters, but I don't think they did anything for me. I had a milk blister for 6 weeks and even after my doctor lanced it, it sealed right back up and stayed. It finally went away when it felt like it.

-Learn to express or pump. Pump if you want to maintain or increase your milk supply and express when you want to decrease your supply. A pump came in handy when he was sick and didn't want to eat. I also use it now to store extra milk for him and for his sudden sleeping through the night business, which left me painfully engorged the first few nights. I'm not good at expressing at all, so I just pump enough for relief, in that case, don't empty and hope not to get mastitis.
If you have the money and will be using it often enough to make it worth it, get a double pump. Pumping takes longer than breastfeeding and doesn't feel the same at all. Make sure not to injure your nipple with the pump. That being said, I have more than one friend who is unable to pump, so you might want to try it first before buying one.

-Above all, enjoy the time because it passes so quickly!

Essentials for a Happy Pregnancy

I wrote this August 2009, before I gave birth.

Now that this crazy ride is nearly over, I've compiled a list of things that helped me get through it. Feel free to add more if you think there's something missing.

-There is actually something to be said for setting up the nursery *before* even getting pregnant. I always found this odd, but I do see some logic in it. This way, the pregnant-to-be person can actually help with painting, lifting heavy nursery furniture and putting it all together. I've also always found it easier to accumulate things over time (and find good deals) than to go on a giant baby shopping spree. But YMMV.
I was not able to help at all with putting together the change table, and that bothered me as I'm actually more handy than my husband is, but well, in the end we have the same result.

Non-herbal remedies:
-Tums (for heartburn and indigestion. Rolaids are verboten. You can only take Tums and hey, they have calcium!)
-Gas-X (I've never had such bad gas pain as my first trimester. I seriously would have exploded without it.)
-Dicletin (by prescription only) For me, it was a godsend to keep the nausea away and function without suddenly hurling on people.
-Tylenol if you get a fever or have pain. There are literally no other options.
-Anusol suppositories or cream for hemorrhoids. Store brands are just as effective, but the cream smells like crap. Though considering where it's going, I guess it doesn't matter.

Herbal or vitamin remedies:
-Ginger! Ginger in all it's forms, roots, tea, candies, whatever. Just eat/drink it. Effective for keeping away the indigestion and nausea of the first trimester; I ate so much ginger, I should have bought stock in it.
-Raspberry leaf tea. Also helps with nausea, but try not to drink too much in the first trimester (some say it causes miscarriage. I have no clue). I say err on the side of caution and drink it during the second and third.
-Vitamin B6 - Dicletin is just B6 with an antihistamine added. If you can get away with just extra B6 (in addition to your pre-natal vitamin) go right ahead. If I knew I was going somewhere important in the day, I took Dicletin. If I just stayed home, I just took the B6. So it gives you options.
-A handful of almonds before bed is supposed to help stop acid reflux. No clue since I haven't had that problem. You can also try milk, crackers, or in my friend's case, Seven 11 Slushies were the only thing that worked for her. Find your remedy and stick to it!
-Witch hazel to soothe hemorrhoids.
-Almond oil to prevent stretch marks (or Bio-Oil if you don't like greasy). Almond oil is also good for perineal massage.


-I would not have survived without my Snoogle. It's the best invention in the world!
-Belly wedges. I have four different ones, but stick mostly to the softest one. Depends on your belly. Great for preventing round ligament pain.
-If you need a sleeping pill, Unisom is the only safe one to take. You cannot take melatonin. If you're like me though, you'll be so exhausted you won't need any help. I did have some sleepless nights, but not enough to make me want to drug myself.
-One of those bedside rails for elderly people. I took my dad's. It rocks! Not sure how I'd get out of bed without it.


-A person to help lift, carry and reach things you are unable to. (You're not supposed to carry more than 25lbs in each arm.) Work within your limits, you don't want to contract the uterus, so no sit-ups either.
-Something to put your feet up on to prevent swelling.
-Panty liners to catch the constant flow of cleaning goop coming out of your vagina. Could be TMI, but trust me, you will soak through your undies and pants without one. Seriously. You cannot use tampons/cups while pregnant.
-A patient person to run errands for you (like get you food) when you are unable to.
-Your fave take-out places on speed dial because cooking becomes a horrible chore some days.
-Have some washable nursing pads available early. If you're like me and start leaking at 20 weeks, they're nice to have.
-Rubber bands - attach them through the loop and hook of your pre-pregnancy pants and keep wearing them!
-Blinders and earplugs for when you go out and get stopped by strangers in the street who insist on telling you completely ridiculous things. Most notably, those who think it's their duty to quickly tell you how painful and horrible labour is.
-Get used to people staring at you constantly, no matter what you're doing.
-If your bathtub/shower does not have a handle/grip inside, consider getting one of those suction cup ones, along with a non-slip mat. If my bath could fit it, I'd be using my dad's old shower chair, too.
-A handheld mirror to see your vulva, if you're so inclined. I haven't seen mine in months and I miss it.
-If you like to shave, towards the end you'll need someone else to trim and shave your pubic region or legs. On the other hand, you may also find you simply don't care anymore.
-Condoms for sex if you find the prostaglandins in sperm are causing too many contractions.
-Find a good deodorant because not only does your odor change, but you sweat more.

And lots of patience because you'll need it!