What I Have Learned About Speaking Up and Out

I have been, at times, scared to speak up about certain things. I think a lot of people share this problem. Some of us, depending on the situation, may be more at ease commenting about certain topics more than others.

A dark grey megaphone picto with the words, "speak out!" in white on a light red watercolour background.

Sometimes on Facebook, I was scared of sharing some of my views, in case it offends family members who I rarely see or know very well. But over time, I started to let pieces out. I think also I've learnt that I don't have to disclose everything about myself in order to stand up for others. Standing up for homosexuals having equal rights doesn't make me a homosexual anymore than speaking out against routine circumcision means I have a penis. I think some of my initial hesitancy was because I didn't want people to think that perhaps I was some of the things I was standing up for. (Which, of course, was my issue to work through)

What I've also discovered, much to my delight, is how many people were already in my camp, but either could not or did not speak up. Of course, we all use social media for different reasons. I happen to be very political on mine, but I also share cute animal pictures. What I've come to understand is that even if people aren't necessarily posting and speaking out, they still carry those thoughts with them. For them, it is safer and easier to simply "like" or comment on something I said, rather than to say it themselves. I think this is ok, as everyone has their limits. There are times when the rallying of the troops is necessary and hopefully they will allow their voices to be heard, but it is still heartening to me to see those "likes" and comments and know I'm not alone.

I know I do it to let others know they're not alone. I do it to see who's in my camp, many of whom I didn't expect. I do it to share ideas. I do it for discussions and for others to keep me accountable. I do it for those who have no voice. I do it to keep learning. 

Autism and Faceblindness

A fuzzy blurred out face to depict faceblindness

A lot of Autistic people are already socially awkward in general (like me!) but another aspect that some of us suffer from is faceblindness. This doesn’t mean we don’t see faces at all, it just often means we sometimes don’t recognize people we’ve met before. One thing I know I do, and studies have confirmed, is we often look at parts of faces rather than whole faces. A lot of the time I look at mouths and noses instead of eyes. It’s less stressful to look at eyes and looking at a mouth actually helps me understand what is being said. I’m not that bad at reading lips because of this.

I'm not sure if I suffer from faceblindness per se, but there are times I don’t initially recognize people. I can see someone and then doubt that I know them. Or if they look like someone else, I won’t be sure they are the right person. Staring in order to try to decipher this is not usually socially acceptable, so either I shy away and don’t say “hi,” or I say “hi” to people I don’t know. If I have made the wrong choice, then I can look like I’m ignoring someone I do know, or just really friendly and weird (because here in the big city, we don’t usually say hello to people we don’t know). Luckily, most people I have met before are quicker than me at recognition and will say hi first, but then it can take me a minute to place who they are.

At the same time, I can sometimes know I’ve met someone before and cannot for the life of me remember their name or where I met them. Then I sit there trying to figure out where I’ve met them. Other times I can totally remember names, but not the face. My facial recognition skills are totally unreliable and inconsistent. I may recognize people within the same context, like my office for example. If I see them outside of work, I may not.

I have inadvertently insulted many people by not immediately recognizing them or remembering where/when I met them. It’s a shame because we can get along and have a great conversation, but then I can accidentally ruin it when we meet again. I have spent evenings talking to people and when I get home, I see a friend request on Facebook and can’t for the life of me figure out who they are. It’s embarrassing. Maybe I should warn people up front that I have this problem so they hopefully won’t think I’m slighting them. I read Brad Pitt tried that, but no one believed him and they felt insulted anyway. Then again, I'm not Brad Pitt, so I may give it a try.


As with many things, it's best to give others the benefit of the doubt. It's not about you or an insult if someone doesn't recognize you, even if you've spoken many times.

Here’s the Wikipedia entry on faceblindness and here’s a little test you can do to see if you suffer from it.

Facebook Petition

Facebook is still being inconsistent when it comes to the removal of breastfeeding images. Though they claimed they would be more careful about it, it has been discovered the people who actually view the images and decide when to ban members are not even in their American offices - the job is outsourced.

If you are interested in reading more about this horrible saga, you'll find regular updates on Jodine Chase's blog.

In the meantime, please sign this petition and let Facebook and the world understand that breastfeeding is not sexual, dirty or need to be hidden.

Facebook Is Angering Me

I just wanted to let everyone know about Emma Kwasnica's FB page. She is being harassed by Facebook, so if you'd like to join in solidarity, I'm letting everyone I can know about it. I've met her personally, she is a great person and she helps run HM4HB.

Here: http://www.facebook.com/StopHarassingKwasnicaAndALLBreastfeedingWomen?sk=wall

I'm just really tired of sites having issues with breast feeding and I don't understand it.

Look, here's a picture of my husband about to eat:

He looks pretty happy to me!

Here's a picture of me eating:

I was pregnant at the time, too!

Here's one of my son eating:

And click here for a picture of a roller derby player helping her child eat.

You must be thinking, what horrible, obscene pictures!! How can these be posted so flagrantly?!
Give me a break, people! Grow up and get a life!