Not Only Autistic People Do That!

In addition to this blog, I run a few autism-related Facebook pages and have my personal Instagram account. I don't often, but now and then I will tag a photo of a situation I'm experiencing with "#autism." For example, there was this post where the Little Man wanted to play with water balloons, but did not want to get wet (which was difficult to achieve, but we dealt with it).

Child wants to play with water balloons but doesn't want to get wet. #autism

A photo posted by K Bron John (@kbronjohn) on May 18, 2015 at 11:13am PDT

I'm not the only one who receives these comments. Here's another experience:

Of course I got a comment (through Facebook) about how that's not unique to autism.
(It's not the first time I've received such a comment)

'Not only autistics have this problem.' We read this comment in our page threads and in groups where we allow allistic...
Posted by The Cranky Autistic on Friday, May 29, 2015

I no longer respond to these comments (I used to!). I no longer really see the point.

Of course, a whole lot of behaviours/experiences are not unique to autism. Of course it's possible NT people have done similar things. THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

When I point out that my son or I do something and I attribute it to my/our autism, it's not because I think we're the only ones who do it. I draw attention to it because it's something other autistic people can relate to or understand.

If I say "someone touched my hair again without consent" and tag it "#blackpeopleproblems," I don't care if white people get their hair touched as well. I wouldn't understand why a white person would feel the need to comment, "but that happens to us, too!" Sure, it can, and I acknowledge your struggle! But it happens WAY less to white people than black.

Sometimes, I get the impression people are trying to dismiss my/our experience. As if it somehow should make me feel better that it's "not just an autistic thing." Other times I feel like they believe I'm/we're somehow not really autistic then.

For me, it's about the total of "autistic experiences" in a day and I'm trying to let people in on what just some of those situations are like. Sure, the water balloon thing was not a big deal. I found it humorous and we came to a solution so he could still have fun. But there are hundreds of other episodes like that throughout the day that make up the whole autistic experience, and only people who are or live with autistic people can really understand. You may relate to something we do. You may even do it yourself, but there's no need to dismiss it as not autistic enough for you.

EDITED To Add: It can also stem from a belief that labelling something as autistic behaviour is somehow bad and shouldn't be done. As if being NT is the ideal.

Great, I did something that some other NT also does. Yay! Now I'm cured! Wait, what?

The Difference Between Racism and Cultural Appropriation

This dude breaks down the difference between racism and cultural appropriation. If you don't know what cultural appropriation is, he explains that, too. He does all this in less than four minutes, so it's worth your time!

He also has some other great videos, so consider checking him out. 

Warning: video contains curse words

Go Cheerios!

Cheerios had to disable comments on this video/commercial because all the bigots in the world came out in full force with outrage over an interracial family.

Cheerios wins the day though by telling Gawker: "At Cheerios, we know there are many kinds of families and we celebrate them all."

Thanks Cheerios! We'd still eat you if my interracial family weren't all gluten free. 

I'm Not The Babysitter - Really

It happened.

Someone thought I was the babysitter today at the playgroup. When I said, "I'm not babysitting, this is my son!" she said, "oh, he looks like his father then." Has she seen his father? No.

Forget the fact Baby has my eyes, my nose, my lips and my ears, he's just a different colour, that's all! And I should probably take it as a compliment that I am right back down to my pre-pregnancy weight; I don't look like someone who just gave birth four months ago. Still, that's no reason to assume I'm not the mommy.

The good thing that came out of it was as it was my first time there, I didn't realize the group seemed to be divided into two cliques: the real mommies and the babysitters. After I yelled out in indignation that Baby was my son, the real mommies started talking to me. Baby made a new girlfriend with a nine month old (he likes older chicks) who was half Japanese, half white (seems a taste for the mixed girls runs in the family). She showered him with sloppy kisses while he smiled like crazy.

I knew it would happen eventually though.

I am of mixed heritage myself. My father is Barbadian and my mother is French-Canadian. As she was a white woman, walking around with two little black babies, people would ask her from where we were adopted from or if she was babysitting and so on. I remember it used to make her cry sometimes. Not out in public, but she would get tears in her eyes replaying the conversation at home. I'm not sure she ever got over the fact her children don't really look like her. (Which is not totally true - my sister looks quite a bit like her. The colour is wrong, yes, but the features are there. You just have to LOOK BEYOND colour.)

I married a white Canadian, of German and Irish heritage, so our child is only 1/4 black. Of course I knew people might be confused when they see me and my son together. I told my mom and she laughed, saying she thought people would have changed by now, but I guess they haven't.

I was a little surprised, but I'm not upset. I do not mind that I don't have the same colour as my son. I know he is mine and he knows I'm his, so that's all that matters. What is probably most comforting to me is that growing up and hearing those ignorant comments from total strangers telling my mom I must be adopted never made me doubt where I came from. Kids don't see colour. I loved my mom regardless and I thought the strangers were total crazies. And I hope my baby thinks exactly like I do.