Sensory Triggers

If you are Autistic or live with someone who is, you probably know your/their particular sensory triggers. There are lots that overlap, but everyone probably has one or two that are unique to them (since we're all unique individuals).

When I talk about sensory triggers, I'm talking about objects, sounds or experiences that can trigger sensory overload, over stimulation or meltdown/shutdown. In serious cases, it can cause seizures.

Some things can trigger someone almost immediately and others can take time to build up over the course of a day or more. It also depends on how well we were balancing ourselves prior to whatever trigger was introduced. If we are tired, hungry or sick, we'll be more fragile. Other times, there is no real predictor to how we will react.

I'm going to mention some of mine, because it took me a very long time to realize what I was experiencing was sensory overload due to very common things. It doesn't help that I didn't get a diagnosis until last year. All of this is through my own self-discovery and observations of my son.

Clothing:

When dealing with sensory issues, it seems a lot of Autistics fit into one of two camps: the clothes wearers and the strippers. Some will wear the same clothes all the time, regardless of season. Others will want to be naked, or at the very least, topless, as much as possible, regardless of the temperature.

I ran around naked a lot as a child, but grew into more of a clothes-wearer as an adult. However, I have no shame or problem being naked.

For me, clothes have specific issues. I pretty much always have socks and slippers on in the winter and must be barefoot in the summer.

I wear tight pants, but do not want anything tight around my waist. I rarely wear belts or sweaters with tight hems. I'm not a fan of tights or pantyhose.

I dislike tight things around my neck, so no chokers. I'm very specific about turtlenecks and only wear them sometimes. I will not wear itchy wool (I think that's pretty common with everyone).

Noises:

(Note: it's quite possible these are better attributed to misophonia)

Whistling makes me crazy. A shame because my husband will happily whistle a tune and I REALLY. CAN'T. STAND. IT.

Retching/burping/gagging/vomiting noises - mostly because I'm an emetophobe though. I don't think this has to do with sensory really, but it will cause a panic attack.
(I have had to get used to burping sounds since living with two males, but I still don't like it. Also, yes, China was awful for that.)

Snot sniffling - when people snuck/sniff their snot instead of blowing their nose, it drives me up the wall. Again, I live with two males who do this and I can only take so much.

I very much dislike the sound of trumpets/horns. You can instantly ruin a song for me by playing trumpet.

People chewing with their mouth open.

It could be because I see some sounds and those sounds are just gross and disgusting.

Experiences:

People breathing on me, sighing or coughing - Sometimes I feel like a target, like people go out of their way to come near me and cough. Or just walk down the street, pass me and cough in my direction. There's always some weirdo behind me in line sighing and breathing down my back. Makes me nuts!

When in bed, I cannot have my husband breathing on me - I will make him face the other way.

Crowds:

For me crowds can cause a sensory overload situation because of the movement and heat. Add to that the fact I can't predict what so many people are going to do and I find that difficult to deal with. Also, everyone is coughing and breathing all over the place. Ugh.

Pregnancy: that was pretty much one long sensory overload experience.

Fun:

It's important to remember that even too much fun can cause us to overload. It's not just things we don't like that set us off, but even too much of a good thing can overwhelm us after a while. For this reason, I make sure to intersperse fun/exciting activities with calming activities throughout the day, for my son. As he gets older, he'll be able to tolerate more, but right now he's so young, he can't regulate as effectively. Even me as an adult, I need to limit my "fun" to some extent. I can go to one party on a weekend - I'm not one of those people out Friday and Saturday nights, running from event to event. If I go out on a Friday night, I need Saturday and Sunday to recoup.

If you want, comment and add some of the things that really irritate you and send you into Overload Town.

Autistic and Sick

Being both Autistic and sick brings things to a whole other level. By "sick," I'm talking about colds and flu, not long term, more serious illnesses. Those have their own issues, but I don't have enough personal experience to cover them.

What makes the act of being sick while Autistic slightly different from NTs is the sensory issues involved. Many of us are already slightly uncomfortable in our bodies to begin with. When you add the different sensations of sickness, it's a struggle.

Some of us don't even know we're sick until we're quite into it. That's because for those of us who are hyposensitive, we don't register certain feelings or pain like others do. For example, someone may not notice a sore throat or headache until it is REALLY bad. Instead, our behaviour may change (more quiet, more hyper, more stimmy, more agitation, for example) but we don't feel it as pain.

This is the reason I own a stethoscope and otoscope . Even though my son can speak, he is not able to tell me he is in pain. I observe his behaviour and know now that when he starts getting very hyper, chatty and wanting to cuddle, he is getting a fever.

When he is quiet and lacks appetite, I look for signs of pain in his ears and throat. This past week, I knew something was off and looked in his throat. His left tonsil was hugely swollen. When I asked if it hurt, he said no, but it's obvious that something that big and red would hurt. After some pain relief, he was back to his old self. The otoscope is probably one of the best investments I've ever made as a parent!

I, on the other hand, am hyper-aware of my body and know when I'm getting a cold. Even as a child, I would look up my symptoms in a book and diagnose myself before my mom took me to the doctor. I would proudly walk into the doctor's office and when asked what was wrong, would confidently declare: "I have pharyngitis. I need the pink liquid you gave me last time."
The doctor would examine me, chuckle and say, "why yes, the little lady is right!"
(And why no one saw that as a sign of autism is beyond me!)

One way sickness manifests itself for me is a horrible feeling of irritation. When I get a head cold, it feels like my skin is itching from the inside. It makes me feel anxious and extremely uncomfortable.

Having a stuffy nose and not being able to breathe as we're accustomed to is another level of frustration. It also adds a level of irritation and reduces our ability to cope with regular things.

When I get a flu with body aches, even my hair hurts. It is strange to describe it, but I can feel my hair (hypersensitive). I know I am really sick when my whole head, scalp and hair hurt.

With all these different sensations and some of us feeling more or less pain than others, it can quickly overload the sensory system and make us behave out of the ordinary.

As a child, however, it took me some time to have the awareness that a mild scratchy throat would develop into a major sore throat if I didn't do anything about it. So it took me a long time to actually tell others that I was starting to feel bad.

It's important, as a parent of an Autie, to watch out for behaviours that may be out of the ordinary and then investigate to see if there's an underlying pain or sickness starting.

If a person is "acting up" or just doesn't seem like themselves, check for bumps and bruises, check their temperature, make sure their teeth are healthy, look for patches of itchy or scaly skin, look for bug bites, and look in ears and throat for signs of infection. If you are able to ask about stomach pains and bowel movements, try that as well. Sometimes after you bring it up, we may become more aware of it and be able to communicate specifics. But always investigate first.

Make Up and SPD

I have never really worn make up. When most teens go through some sort of experimental phase, I couldn't care for it. My sensory issues are such that I feel a great compulsion to have clean teeth and brush them often. I then MUST have lip balm, but only a few specific brands are tolerable. And that is it. Most of my life, I've shown my natural face without a touch of make up.

For special occasions I have tried really hard. The problem is I feel make up on my skin. Most of the time, it makes me feel itchy. I rub my eyes a lot. I lick my lips. You can imagine it's extremely hard to keep any sort of make up actually on my face without smudging it off.

Until now!

See, just knowing I have SPD has made it much easier to cope. I still have adult acne and wanted some help covering my blemishes. I decided to go to The Body Shop and have them teach me. I also needed someone to pick the right colours for me (it's absolutely impossible for me. I don't know how they do it). I decided to forget everything I ever saw my mom do with make up and start from scratch.

So I made an appointment and had a nice young lady show me everything from beginning to end. What I like about The Body Shop products (aside from not being tested on animals) is they don't upset my sensitive skin. The make up artist asked me what kind of coverage or look I was going for and we stuck with the most natural possible. In the end, I just got a simple BB cream and powder that matches my skin tone, and a mascara. I already had lip liners and gloss - which is the most I'll wear on my lips, otherwise I feel it and it bothers me. I bring it with me every day to work, but never actually reapply it. lol. I mean, com'on, a girl has to eat. What's the point of putting more lip gloss on if you're just going to eat and drink?
I'm very pragmatic, as you can tell.

The products I got just smooth out and even out my skin tone and they don't feel so heavy that I have to keep touching my face. The mascara just enhances my already naturally long eye lashes - and it is still a challenge to not touch my eyes, but I feel I am better for it. I really shouldn't be sticking my fingers in my eyes all day anyway. And that's it! I feel a bit more grown up. I actually think it's helping my skin because I am forced to wash it more often and touch it less.

It seems that just the right amount of make up can be tolerated by my sensory issues and may even help me in the long run.

Me being silly after coming home from the Body Shop, about to wash my new make up off

Tracers, Auras and Other Sensory Overload Experiences

Mashable put together a nice collection of autistic/sensory overload experiences on video. Each video tries to simulate what it's like to be autistic. It's really hard to capture sensory experiences on video - it's the sort of thing where it would be great if people could just spend time in each other's heads. But since we can't, these videos are close enough.

I especially like the taking a walk and Wal-Mart visit videos. My vision does not become as blurry though. For me, I see what I call "tracers" and "auras" (and not the fancy coloured New Agey auras). Also, these experiences are not as fun as they might sound!

Auras are easy enough to describe. It's a fuzzy glowing light, a halo, around people and things. Everything.

Tracers are like a bad seventies music video where lines of light follow any movement of a person or object. So, let's say I were to wave my hand in front of my face. There would be hundreds of hands just like it, like a paper fan spreading out, following its movement.

I also sometimes see flashes of light go past my eyes. I have had my eyes checked by an ophthalmologist and I have had brain scans. There is nothing physically wrong or different to explain why I have these experiences. It's just crazy sensory overload.

Seeing either or both of them usually mean I am tired and/or over stimulated and need to get away to a quiet place quickly. If stuck, I will become dizzy, get a headache and then nauseated. My body will start to ache. This happens often in shopping malls, especially crowded ones. I cannot think straight.

Because of this, I usually stick to small stores. I do a lot of my shopping online. I also completely refuse to buy Christmas presents for anyone but children now - you will not see me in a store at holiday time! Instead I "gift" donations to charities of people's choice - again something easily done with a credit card online and I'm also doing something good. North Americans have too much stuff anyway.

Looking at me, you wouldn't think or know anything is wrong. I continue walking around like nothing is happening, maybe rubbing my eyes more than usual. I may have to concentrate more on where I'm going so I don't run into things and this might make it harder to approach me. I typically don't want my thoughts disturbed, so those people in malls trying to get you to sample something are even more annoying to me.

Add to that the annoying mall "muzzak" and scents from perfume, soap or candle shops and I start getting agitated. Basically, if I have to go to a mall, I run in and run out, getting only what I really need, so I don't get to the overload point. Knowing my limits and having them respected is really important to being able to be productive. Otherwise I could be ruined for days.

How My ASD Diagnosis Changed Me

It has been just over six months since I got my official ASD diagnosis. It feels longer for some reason, but not in a bad way. It's amazing how much I've changed in the last six months.

I have embraced my diagnosis with open arms, using it as a catalyst for self-discovery and new levels of self-awareness. Mostly, I have felt empowered by it. I feel authentic. I no longer feel ashamed of myself and because of that, I feel I can live more like my true self. I am allowing myself to be me, just the way I am, without negative judgment. And that is so freeing.

I know a lot of people say they feel like diagnosis makes them "act more autistic." I guess I can say a similar thing, in the sense that I am allowing myself to be naturally, quirky me. I no longer try to hide my stims. I accept them as needed and helpful, for the most part.

I "came out" at work, which has been both good and bad. Good because it has given me a way to fight for acceptance and bad in the sense there is still a lack of understanding of what it really means to be Autistic. However, I guess I can't accomplish everything in six short months. Still, there is hope for improvements and I don't regret doing it.

I have felt more empowered to stand up for myself and my family. I would have said I was always a strong person, but truthfully, I lacked certain skills when it came to dealing with my mom. I came to the realization that I was still doing things simply to "keep the peace" or make her happy at the expense of myself and my family. I finally found the courage to put my foot down. Case in point, normally I would have gone to her place for Easter dinner, not because that's what I want, but because it would be what *she* wants and I would suffer through it. She is just a very negative and controlling person and being around her makes me anxious a lot of the time. I refused to go, which of course made her angry, but she'll get over it. Instead of turning my life into chaos and bending over backwards to make it work for her, I've had a very relaxing weekend with my little family at home. That peace of mind is priceless.

I have become better able to let anxiety and other stressful emotions wash over me, rather than panic. I think understanding that my anxiety stemmed mostly from over-stimulation of the senses and learning to listen to and accept my limits, means that I am a much happier and calmer person. Before I didn't really understand what I was panicking about, which can be pretty scary. Now I am more aware of my sensory issues and finding ways to work with them. I accept that I can take time-outs for myself and I can find ways to recharge and cope. I no longer blame myself for what I previously perceived to be "failings" or "weakness."

On this day, which also happens to be my 13th handfasting anniversary, I think back to the vows we wrote for each other. One line was, "to delight in who you are becoming." We knew over time we would both change and we decided to accept that off the bat. I know my husband still delights in what I am becoming and I delight in his changes as well. But I can also say that I am also taking great delight in who I am becoming.

As I sit perched in my new hanging chair - which my husband worked hard to mount for me, knowing it would calm my sensory issues - I can't help but delight in the whole process of becoming more me. 

Brushing Protocol

Our Therapressure therapy brush

We've been doing the Wilbarger Brushing Protocol with the Little Man for almost a month now. The Wilbarger Brushing Protocol, also known as the "Brushing program," or just brushing, for short, is a therapy for sensory processing issues that was created by occupational therapist, Patricia Wilbarger.

It's used for people who are tactile defensive, and can be part of a wholistic sensory diet.

The Little Man is an interesting mix of sensory seeking and defensive, and it contributes greatly to his anxiety. It has caused a lot of problems with eating (limited textures, gagging), speech and general motor skills.

The therapy consists of brushing the person with a soft-bristled therapy brush roughly every two hours each day for a few weeks. This is followed by gentle joint compression. It takes 2-3 minutes to do and feels like a nice massage. It is taught by an OT to the parents and teachers who will do it, so that we know it is done correctly. (There are some videos out there that show people the technique, but I don't think it's a great idea to do it without professional help since doing it wrong can actually feel very uncomfortable and make someone more tactile defensive!)

After 2-3 weeks of daily therapy, the OT will re-assess the person and see whether it should be continued or tapered off.

I had heard a bit about it before this was proposed for the Little Man (it was proposed for me and my SPD, but I couldn't find an OT to teach me when I looked). There's not tons of science or studies backing this practice up. Nevertheless, we went into it with an open mind, figuring it doesn't hurt anyone (it feels really nice actually!) and the brush cost us $5.

Our OT set up the schedule and with the help of the staff at school, we've been doing it daily on the Little Man. To our great surprise, we've noticed A LOT of changes very quickly.

Since we started the brushing protocol, he's been:

-more calm, will sit with us
-asks for hugs
-sleeps better
-eats better (larger quantities and more textures)
-talks more
-drinks water (!!  From a cup!!)
-more focused
-seems less anxious
-seems more confident
-more self-aware when upset and able to let us know verbally

I think that him being less anxious means he is better able to relax and eat. I know I spent a great deal of my childhood very anxious and eating was very anxiety-provoking to me. Also, when you can't handle all the different things assaulting your senses all at once, it's hard to find a sense of predictability or stability in the world. The world feels very dangerous to someone with SPD - or at least it did for me growing up and I'm pretty sure my son has experienced a similar sentiment.

As a bonus, the Little Man seems to really enjoy being brushed and the OT agrees with the results we've been seeing, so we're going to continue for the next few weeks.

If you know a person who is tactile defensive with Sensory Processing Disorder and/or is Autistic, brushing is a therapy that doesn't take a lot of time or investment to try and see if it will help. It's just one part of a well-rounded OT program and easy to do at home.

As for me, I need to book more massage appointments for myself :)

I Don't Like Love - Sensory Issues Explained

TRIGGER WARNING: People touching others without express consent

Every once and a while I get reminded of a date I had with Hubby, very early in our relationship. We decided to meet at a restaurant and I went to find a seat to wait for him. I didn't know, but he was close behind me, so he came up from behind and touched my hair. My reflex was to snap my arm back, with my hand in a fist, and whack whoever touched me without permission. I ended up punching him square in the face and giving him a bloody nose.

Little did he know, I hated having my head or hair touched. Little did he know, I hate people touching me from behind. I hate people touching me without permission. I hate strangers touching me. I use the word, "hate" because it really is a strong aversion.

After the bleeding stopped, and I explained my issues, we still had a nice dinner. And evidently, he never tried to sneak up from behind me again. But it was nothing personal.
My quick reflexes would be very helpful if I were actually being attacked, but they are a bit of a mood killer otherwise, I must say. Still, I'll explain a little bit about why I react that way and maybe you can get an idea how it feels.

I should remind people that I have Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and not just autism, so that could explain my extra sensitivity. Also, my sensory issues have changed since childhood, meaning I'm not quite as sensitive as I once was.

For as long as I can remember, I hated having my hair or head touched. Getting my hair brushed and styled was something to endure, not enjoy. My mom loved braiding and tying my hair. I hated it. The best way I can describe it is when you get the hebbie-jeebies - being touched gave me a feeling of pain, shivers and distinct uncomfortableness. It's just a yucky feeling.

Light touch is worse than deep touch. I enjoy a rough scalp massage, like when getting my hair washed at the salon. But a soft caress gives me the most disgusting feeling. So did long hugs. It could be so bad sometimes, that it actually made me vomit.

What looks like a loving hug can feel like torture

So not liking soft kisses, caresses and other common demonstrations of affection make it look like I don't like love. When it's a child, it looks like the child hates you or finds you disgusting. It offended my mother greatly. My mom always wanted to smother me. Or at least, that's how it felt, because she didn't respect my bodily integrity.

It is always a worse (or more pronounced) sensory experience when the activity is forced upon me. So a surprise touch or one where I did not give consent is worse. In other words, a hug I did not want will feel more disgusting than a hug I want. Again, this was all much worse as a child since I could not get away from my mother. I learned to ignore my own feelings in order to make her feel happy. I will not go into the ramifications of how that sort of behaviour affects a person when it comes to interacting with other people, but I think you can guess. Suffice to say, it made me numb to some extent, and I have done things with people without feeling a thing or caring what was happening to my own body. 

My son, who seems to be my little sensory carbon copy, shows the same signs of having the same sensory issues as I do. He is a bit different, but he's not big on hugs or kisses unless it's on his own terms. If I had my way, I would just love to squeeze him and cover him with kisses, but it's not about what I want because I know what it feels to have people do things to your body against your will. This is why I always ask. ALWAYS.

The point to take away from all this, is that having a sensory issue where touch can be a problem does not mean the person doesn't want to be touched or loved. It means it feels overwhelming and weird at times and worse when forced. I am not in control of the way my body "over" reacts to stimulus. It is not conscious. It is not my fault. My body works differently and that's it. I still love touch, but it has to be on my terms.

Also, I don't have the same reactions as I did as a child. My senses are somewhat muted now. My husband is allowed and able to touch my face and head. But part of that could be because he has respected me and my body and that goes a long way.

Pregnancy and Autism - What It's Like

I wrote pretty much every day of my pregnancy with the Little Man in my (shared online) personal journal. People commented that it was extremely detailed - I became extremely introspective during my pregnancy and I realize now, looking back, that I was experiencing sensory overload, pretty much 24/7. Which is kind of understandable when having someone in your space 24/7 for 41.4 weeks. Not only that but the Little Man was really good at making his presence known - he exhibited what some believe to be an early sign of Autism, which is increased fetal movement. It felt like I had Animal from the Muppet Show playing drums in my uterus every morning at around 4am. Other times too, but 4am was one of his favourite times, unfortunately. I actually had to get up and walk around the house, trying to rock him back to sleep. He would quiet down and then I would lie down again and he would start up again. I was pretty much always tired while pregnant.

Me pregnant with the Little Man

Anyway, back to other issues, some of which I believe are experienced by NTs, but maybe it's a bit more sensitive to those on the spectrum. If you're an Autistic who has been pregnant, feel free to share your experiences in the comments for the benefit of others.

1) My skin felt itchy from the inside.

2) I did not want to be touched by anyone. I accepted hugs with express permission, but they had to be firm ones.

3) My personal space perimeter grew by a few extra feet.

4) I wanted complete silence, pretty much all the time. It took me a long time to crawl out of this state, which I wrote about here.

5) Despite my wheat intolerance, I found myself more able to digest more things, including citrus. It was as if my IBS/digestive issues disappeared.

6) Like I said, I became very introspective and very withdrawn. I overanalyzed every emotion and pretty much wanted to be alone in a cave in the forest.

7) It sounds contradictory, but I also became hypersexual. Every experience felt more intense.

I asked on the woman's Aspie group I'm on and I can't say the majority of them had these same issues to the same extent, so I think a lot of these were more caused by my SPD than my Autism.

On the plus side, many of us did NOT have horrible morning sickness. Maybe we're less likely to actually vomit?

The main point I want to make is if you're Autisic and concerned about being pregnant, you will make it through ok.

When it comes to labour, I'd say the vast majority of us (the Autistic women I spoke to) were very calm and quiet during our labours. This, unfortunately, meant nurses did not take our need for pain relief seriously. Many underestimated our stage of labour. This does not mean if I have to do labour again that I will put on an act in order to get some help, nor do I think any woman should have to do that. We need to be believed at our word - all women, not just Autistic women. Just because we are quiet, does not mean we are not in great pain. Some of us were lucky to have an advocate with us (an understanding partner) who were able to convince medical staff that we really are in pain. But that's not the case for everyone and that doesn't make any sense really. What needs to happen is the woman always needs to be respected and greater understanding for the Autistic experience needs to happen. 

The Benefits of My Autistic Brain

If you look online, you'll find lots of lists of the ways the Autistic brain is different and beneficial to the world. Not all of us are the same, so I'm just going to list some of mine for fun.

Memory: I was called "The Walking Encyclopedia" as a kid. I remember random facts. I remember birth dates of people I'm not even in contact with any more, celebrities, everyone. I remember conversations. I remember snapshots of life - for example when I used to study, it was easier for me to remember the whole page of notes than to remember each individual fact. In other words, my brain can take a snapshot of the page, almost like taking a picture, and during a test, I can recall the page and read it over again for the fact I need, in my head.

Hyperlexia: I wouldn't say I'm hyperlexic so much now, but I was as a kid. I still love words and languages and my major talent is spotting errors. If there is a spelling error on a page, I just have to look at it and it literally jumps out at me. It's useful (since I work as an editor) but it can also be crazy making. Because of that, I rarely have to edit what I write. I write pretty much just one draft and maybe edit for the way the sentence sounds, but very rarely for spelling or grammar.

Hypergraphia: I have a love/hate relationship with this! For example, right now I'm REALLY tired and should be in bed, but I can't stop writing, so I just keep making more posts. What you're reading now has probably been written a month ago, no joke!
I also write to process my thoughts and I just think I'm a better communicator through writing. In fact, even my hubby and I write to each other so we can communicate clearly. It results in very few fights or fights that don't take long to solve.

Sharp Senses: I see things people don't see easily, like small things on the floor. I'm the best at finding lost contact lens. Call me! lol
I also hear sounds people hardly notice. This can be annoying. Especially when trying to sleep.
I smell things quite strongly, which means I can smell rotting food easily, but I'm also sensitive to scents/perfumes and those can give me a headache. Can't have good without the bad!
I can feel very light touch and pretty much every hair on my body. Also annoying at times, but all these things make it very hard to sneak up on me. Also on the plus side, sex is amazingly intense and wonderful. (Sorry for the TMI, but it's hard to find Autistics talking about sex frankly and we do have sex, so I thought I'd throw that out there!)

Honesty: I speak my mind without a care in the world. This can be annoying to people who don't expect the honest truth from me, but those who can take it, appreciate it. I've worked hard over the years when it comes to my delivery, but I still slip up at times and cause offence now and then.

Happy Alone: Because I don't need the presence of people around me for validation or entertainment, I can happily go places alone. I don't need to wait for others to do things, which means I go out and enjoy life and I don't feel awkward or lonely doing it.

Extreme Focus/Obsession: Once I know what I want or like, I can maintain my focus on it easily. Like goals, for example. I achieve them because I am focused and tenacious. Some people call it stubborn - maybe it is, I don't know, but I get things done, so booyah! Good luck trying to stop me.

Ok, that's enough for now because I am REALLY tired and if I list too many, it will start to sound boastful and you'll all want an Autistic brain. :p

Picky Eaters: How Many Meals Do You Make Each Night?

No, our dinner table doesn't look like this every night!

We've seen a nutritionist, a psychologist and an occupational therapist solely to help with my son's eating issues and while they've helped to some extent, things are still not perfect.

 The Little Man has made great strides and is more adventurous, but when I asked him what his favourite foods were he said, "fries and cheese." Ok, so poutine basically. He's really got French Canadian blood in his veins!



 So basically, because of our schedules, Hubby cooks dinner most nights. He tries unsuccessfully to feed the child whatever he makes for us first and then ends up making something else on the child will eat - like a sandwich or "cheesey noodles," or a hardboiled egg.

I know this must get tiring, making two meals. The question of "what will the Little Man eat tonight?" is a constant. But, when he eats, all is well, so making two meals isn't really that big a deal. Or is it?

If you ask the larger society out there with neurotypical children, I've heard people say they would never make two meals and the child goes to bed hungry. I find it LESS stressful if we just feed him what he wants. Then we are all happy. 

 I just wonder if people think we're crazy and maybe think we look like this?

 Or this?

I just prefer that mealtimes not be a battle and let him have his way in this case. I think there will be plenty of time when he gets older to be more adventurous and I'd rather not make meals into fights. Don't get me wrong - he doesn't have complete control - it's not like we let him eat chocolate pudding and chips for dinner. It's within reason. There are limits, but the limits still give him enough of a feeling of control that it doesn't turn into a struggle - as many things often can with a three-year-old! 

I guess what I'm saying is we set healthy limits and compromise so that we can all be happy.

So what are mealtimes like for you? Do you make more than one meal for your kids?

Does My Humming Disturb You?

One thing I noticed for the first time during our road trip to Toronto (probably because we hardly go anywhere with the child these days) is people staring/looking when he hums.

My son is like a beautiful little humming bird

He hums, in my opinion, because he's happy and it's stimming and calming. I have no problem with his humming. I actually kinda like it. It is rather loud and it's not a tune, it's more like a long monotone hum. Kind of like an AUM (sometimes I tune him to aum and we harmonize together, but he usually does his own thing).





Anyway, so people stare when he does this. Hubby reasons they may find it annoying because it's not a normal sound to come out of most people (I guess humming songs is socially acceptable, but humming one tone is not?) or they stare wondering why we don't tell him to shut up. I don't know, maybe I should ask someone next time they stare. Because again, it doesn't bother me and I see no reason to offer an explanation. What do I need to explain? He's humming, he's happy, what's the problem? He's not picking his nose and sticking it in your ear. And frankly, we're not in a library, we're in a loud food court (another reason he might be humming in the first place, to counteract that stimulus) and he's not the loudest noise in here.

Or maybe they just can't stop looking at his mesmerizing green eyes and that's why they're looking at us? I have the same problem :)

Lending a Stimming Hand

We've figured out that when the Little Man starts stimming, we can quickly calm it by rubbing his face and head vigorously. I guess because of his hypo-sensory issues, he doesn't feel it and needs a reminder now and then? Anyway, doing that a couple of times a day at the first signs eliminates the whole running around and bashing his head into furniture bit. Also eliminates the need for a crash helmet and floor to ceiling padding.

Anyway, the other day, Hubby was sitting on the couch and tapping his foot. Little Man went up to him and patted him on the head. LOL. I guess he thought Hubby was stimming (maybe he was!).