Picky, Selective, Autistic Eating

So many parents stress over their child's diet. I get it, I'm a mom, too.

"He only eats chicken nuggets and bread."

Usually when someone says, "they only eat...." that list becomes not just two things, but slowly expands to five, even 10 things. Yet they still complain, "but no veggies" or "they don't eat meat."

What I'm about to say isn't going to make me popular, but here goes: WHO CARES?

Plenty of people in the world don't eat meat. There are tons of adults who eat little to no veggies or fruit. Is it totally optimal? No, maybe not, but is your diet optimal? I'm going to bet you don't get the 7-10 daily servings of fruits and vegetables Canada's Food Guide recommends. So are you holding your children to a different standard than you hold yourself?

Are you able to fill in some gaps with fruit/veggie smoothies, vitamins or supplements? My son will drink Pediasure and take his essential fatty acids in liquid form. I don't sweat the rest.

There are a few concepts I'd like you to be aware of when it comes to Autistics eating:

1) Eating can be part of routine or rituals, so the whole routine is needed in order to keep anxiety down. The food itself may or may not bring as much comfort as the rituals around it do.

2) For some eating is comforting and the taste/texture is satisfying a sensory need. For others, eating is simply a means to an end. Depending on how my sensory system is working one day, I can truly enjoy food, and another I'm eating only because I know I want to stay alive, but everything tastes like cardboard.

3) We might need to eat alone to feel comfortable.

4) We might not tolerate a whole sandwich, but would be fine to take it apart and eat it. Allowing us to "pick at food" might be worth it if you want us to eat.

5) Many of us eat with our hands. Yes, even us adults.

6) We know how we feel after eating certain foods. We know what we can digest and what brings us discomfort. We avoid things that bring us discomfort. We don't have to have an intolerance or allergy in order to suffer from discomfort. If you know corn makes you bloat and gives you gas, you probably avoid it or eat less of it. We do the same! Fancy that!

It's especially because of #6 that I don't believe in "hiding" foods in other foods because you want your child to ingest something. Don't sneak broccoli into chocolate muffins. Don't put ground up meat in pasta sauce. That's a really good way to get your child to stop eating their preferred foods and make them feel sick.
Trust we know our bodies and what makes us feel well and comfortable in our own skin.

There's no "one bite" rule in my house. Looking at a new food, touching it, smelling it, licking it and biting it and then spitting it out are all valid explorations of food. My son is always offered different foods and he's certainly welcome to try, but never forced. Put a new food on a plate in front of your child and leave the room if it disturbs you too much to watch them not eat it. Eating should not be a pressured, coerced or stressful situation.

Let them explore it (or not!) as they wish. Then let them eat what they want to eat. My son eats nut butter sandwiches every day. Lunch and dinner. That's what he likes. So be it. Eventually he will branch out to something else. Peanut butter comes in 1kg tubs and is quite affordable. Why should I stress?

I know that just like I did, he'll eventually eat a greater variety of foods as he matures. Or maybe not. But we're not there yet.

So my advice is really to not make stress for yourself where none needs to be and respect the fact we eat what works for us, in ways that work for us and are comforting.

What Happens When You Lie To Your Kids About Food

I just read this article telling me that 64% of children in the UK do not know that tuna is a fish. Many also don't know that beef comes from cows. What are people telling their children?!

It reminds me of the time my mom served us pig feet, but told us it was chicken to get us to eat it. Is that what is happening? Are parents trying to trick their children so much that children don't even know the truth anymore?

Or are many adults so out of touch with food processing that we don't even know where our food comes from?

It reminds me of a sneaky trick I heard from another mom: when you're eating chocolate and don't want to share with your kids, tell them you're eating raisins. Then they won't be interested and you don't have to hide in the bathroom to eat it.

Chocolate or raisins? Hmmmm (from SunMaid.com)

Picky Eaters: How Many Meals Do You Make Each Night?

No, our dinner table doesn't look like this every night!

We've seen a nutritionist, a psychologist and an occupational therapist solely to help with my son's eating issues and while they've helped to some extent, things are still not perfect.

 The Little Man has made great strides and is more adventurous, but when I asked him what his favourite foods were he said, "fries and cheese." Ok, so poutine basically. He's really got French Canadian blood in his veins!



 So basically, because of our schedules, Hubby cooks dinner most nights. He tries unsuccessfully to feed the child whatever he makes for us first and then ends up making something else on the child will eat - like a sandwich or "cheesey noodles," or a hardboiled egg.

I know this must get tiring, making two meals. The question of "what will the Little Man eat tonight?" is a constant. But, when he eats, all is well, so making two meals isn't really that big a deal. Or is it?

If you ask the larger society out there with neurotypical children, I've heard people say they would never make two meals and the child goes to bed hungry. I find it LESS stressful if we just feed him what he wants. Then we are all happy. 

 I just wonder if people think we're crazy and maybe think we look like this?

 Or this?

I just prefer that mealtimes not be a battle and let him have his way in this case. I think there will be plenty of time when he gets older to be more adventurous and I'd rather not make meals into fights. Don't get me wrong - he doesn't have complete control - it's not like we let him eat chocolate pudding and chips for dinner. It's within reason. There are limits, but the limits still give him enough of a feeling of control that it doesn't turn into a struggle - as many things often can with a three-year-old! 

I guess what I'm saying is we set healthy limits and compromise so that we can all be happy.

So what are mealtimes like for you? Do you make more than one meal for your kids?

Gluten Free You and Me

It's been over a month now since we as a family decided we'd all experiment being gluten-free. We took to it with varying levels of determination. Because of my wheat allergy, I had already avoided a lot of wheat/gluten products, but I cheated a lot and just lived with the consequences. We also made allowances for my mother coming over with cookies for the Little Man and it wasn't right away that we found gluten-free Kraft Dinner. Hubby cheated when he was hungry at work and only has access to the  food court. Eventually we all decided to work a little harder at it.

We stocked up on gluten-free pastas and gave our regular unopened wheat pasta to the food bank, along with the KD. (I know poor people must have enough KD, but I wasn't about to throw it out!)
Most of our recipes weren't an issue and I just had to find desserts and snacks that were GF. I started out buying them because even though they are expensive, I just didn't have time or the ingredients on hand to start reinventing the wheel. Even now, I prefer a GF cake mix and make a cake or brownies about once a week. It's because I'm a dessert fiend! I need cakes and cookies!

We've found GF bread and hamburger buns, but not hotdog buns or bagels. I would really love a GF bagel! Anyone know where to get those?

I was surprised to find even cream of ____ soups had gluten in them! Argh, so frustrating. I figured the amounts are so low in those that we'd finish off what we had and just replace them with GF versions. Or I'll start making more things from scratch, which is better anyway!

Seeing as we've slipped up now and then, I'm really surprised by the results so far. Hubby hasn't had a massive migraine since. None! This is very odd for him since he usually gets one or two a month. He's had headaches, but nothing near as bad and just a few Tylenol fix it. He says he feels good in general, and that he's been less hungry. He may have even lost some weight.

I notice when I slip right away now. My neck aches and then I get a headache. I also get constipated again. It makes me realize that I was living in constant inflammation before and just got used to it, I guess. Which is just nuts when I think about it! I also think gluten makes me tired (along with the headache) so it's really not worth it for me to cheat any more.

We have noticed when we slipped up with the Little Man, he went crazy. Like, off the wall stimming crazy. So it's worth it to avoid it with him and keep him calmer.

It has meant that I am forced to snack on healthier things like bananas and grapes (I love SWEETS) and not worry about the stares I get at restaurants (I ordered a tofu burger without the bun!).

All in all, I think we're all happier (and probably healthier) for it. It has taken a bit more thought, planning and will power (at least for me. It's hard when I see pastries) but it is worth it for us.

Food Allergies Are Not About Being Sensitive

From http://brotherssauces.blogspot.ca/2011/11/food-allergies-do-you-or-do-you-know.html

 
Every once and an annoying while, I will accidentally eat something I am allergic/intolerant to and get sick. This usually happens in public places, since I don't cook things I can't eat at home. Inevitably, someone will say, "but you just had a few bites, you're really sensitive."

Sensitive? That's a dumb thing to say. If someone ate just a little bit of arsenic and got sick, would you say, "gee, you're really sensitive to poison!" Or if they drank a bit of bleach and burnt all the lining of their esophagus, I could just see a doctor now saying, "the patient is really sensitive to bleach...."
It's a little extreme, but the point is the same. The fact is while food allergies are just caused by harmless food you normally eat, to a person with an allergy, their body reacts as if they've been poisoned. So for these people, some foods ARE poison, even deadly.

http://healthychoicesforrestaurants.com/big-8-food-allergens/

I don't want people to mix up being sensitive (or the implied weak or fragile) with a food sensitivity, which has a scientific definition and physical response. I have food sensitivities, but I am not sensitive to food, nor does the food make me sensitive. Non-allergic food hypersensitivity is the proper scientific term for "food intolerance." My body cannot tolerate or digest certain foods. I am intolerant.

I'll explain what happens to me. When I accidentally eat shellfish, even if it's just a little, my face flushes and I start to feel hot all of a sudden. I start burping (dyspepsia) and feeling odd. Within an hour, I am doubled over with intestinal cramps and diarrhea. If I can catch what happened fast enough and get some Benadryl, it's not as bad a reaction. However, I've had the effects of just a small amount of shellfish last all night to all weekend. It's no joke and it's not fun. My father was intolerant to shellfish and so is my son, unfortunately.

The difference between an intolerance and an allergy is an intolerance usually has to do with lacking the digestive enzymes to properly digest certain proteins, whereas an allergy is the body over-reacting to what it believes is an invader. Intolerances are more likely to affect the gut or mucous membranes (sinuses included) and allergies are more likely to cause anaphylaxis - which just means more than one reaction occurs at the same time. Contrary to common belief, it does not mean the person swells up and can't breathe (though that can be part of anaphylactic shock). All it means is more than one part of the body reacts simultaneously, so it could be diarrhea and hives. Or nausea and runny nose.

So I hope that clarifies things a bit and also how important it is to treat these things seriously. When people with food allergies or intolerances make special requests not to include a food, it's not because they don't like it or are picky eaters trying to cause problems. It's so they don't have their whole weekend ruined on the toilet or actually die.


Note: While searching for images, I found this controversial article on how food allergies can be good for you (their opinion, not mine!) Read it if you're interested.

Cake for Breakfast

Awww, Little Man took out his communication book, pointed to a picture of a cupcake and said, "eat?" Then he said, "cake." Luckily, I had two banana muffins left, so he got one for breakfast. I try to reinforce whatever communication he comes up with. To let him know he's understood, I give him what he asks for - even if that does mean "cake" for breakfast. It's ok. I also have a batch of pumpkin muffins in the freezer. I'll make some carrots ones and maybe chocolate zucchini. He's forced to eat veggies whether he likes it or not.

In other news, I converted the crib into a bed. He spent the first few days getting up but not opening the door to his room; just standing there knocking on it and saying, "out!"
Hubby opened the door and he said, "oh!" so now he knows he can open it, climb onto Mama and Dada's bed and sit on top of a tired Mama while giggling maniacally. Great. That's why I had hesitated in transitioning. It was great when he was locked up in the crib. However, he recently started jamming his legs through the bars in an effort to escape and he got wicked bruises.
So yeah, now he runs into my room at 9am or so. I need to get to bed earlier.