September 08, 2014

Autism Lingo 101

I'm starting some side projects which will hopefully turn into some self-employment at some point. So I started making some entries on this new site of mine. I thought some of this info might be useful for others on this one as well, so this one is all about the lingo you might hear or read when you're just joining the Autism Community.

Read More Autism Lingo....


Autism Lingo 101 on One Quarter Mama.ca

September 05, 2014

Fixing Behaviours

Oh boy, I get a lot of juicy post ideas from some of the parenting groups I'm on.

One was about her ASD son doing a specific behaviour. He's young and when she asked why he does it, he said it's because he likes it. She then asked the community, "how do I stop it?"

Well, the first question out of my mouth was, "if he says he likes it, why do you want to stop it?"

To which she replied, "good question! Maybe other people won't like it. It doesn't actually bother me when I think about it."

So what's the problem?

Here we have a trap a lot of parents fall into:
child is doing something different from others, therefore it must be stopped!
There's this whole school of thought about fixing behaviours.

But guess what? You don't have to like every single thing your child does. Do you know why? Because they're not mini YOU. They are their own person and they get to have different likes and dislikes. I bet they don't like everything about you either. Tough.

You also are not required to control every single little thing they do. You don't. You have your own life to live and you should value your time. Micromanaging your kid's behaviours probably isn't the best use of your time, especially when it doesn't actually harm anyone.

So my solution for the above mother: talk to him! Tell him you understand he likes doing this thing, but that not everyone will appreciate it. So he should only do this thing he likes with other people who like it. This way you are explaining to him how to respect other people's space/needs without actually stopping or shaming his enjoyment in said activity.

Again, as long as he is not hurting anyone, including himself, and he truly is enjoy it, then why not let him enjoy his life?

Besides, what else is childhood for if it's not for exploration and discovery? It won't be long until he's into something else. Not every behaviour needs to be "fixed."


September 02, 2014

Never Take A Day For Granted

As we ease back into the old routines of school and work days and every day starts to blur, don't forget to take a moment to enjoy your kids because time moves so quickly.

My Little Man is becoming a Big Boy. Almost five years old and starting his second year of school.
I remember last year this time I was so nervous, not sure my little three year old was ready, but he has grown and matured so much! This year, I hope he will not be the youngest in the class and he'll already know some of the students and teachers. He just seems so much more mature to me now than ever before and I think that helps.

I am really looking forward to the simplicity of the school schedule. I don't have to think as much about how the day will go. The only thing that throws a loop into my plans is if he gets sick and has to stay home, but otherwise, the song remains the same, as they say.

Still, I feel like I need to really take in all these moments while he is still small. In the coming weeks, I'm going to take imprints of his hands and feet. He's gone up another shoe size and I'll need to buy him new boots and a snow suit for winter.

I am trying to write down all the funny things he says. I don't know if I can keep up!

We can't slow down time, but we can make sure to appreciate it and never take a day for granted.

Smiles are precious - never take a day for granted on One Quarter Mama.ca
Grass is meant to be run through.
Puddles are meant to be jumped in.
Flowers are meant to be picked.
Dirt is temporary.
Smiles are precious.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
~One Quarter Mama~

September 01, 2014

September Goals

In an effort to maintain some monthly goals, here are this months'.

I didn't do all that well with last months', so I set the bar a little more, um, realistic? I don't want to say low, just different :s

Anywho, today is the first, so the time is now and all that jazz!

September 2014 goals for One Quarter Mama.ca.
One Quarter Mama's September 2014 Goals

Feel free to add your own in the comments or link to your goals! Also, please support me and others. If you want a reminder on the 15th to keep you on track, let me know!


August 29, 2014

For Anyone Who Has Ever Been Silenced

I don't need to give you a reason

Stop touching me
Stop talking to me
Stop hurting me
Stop hugging me
Stop kissing me

I don't have to tell you why I don't like it

Stop looking at me
Stop invading my space
Stop asking me questions
Stop calling me names
Stop disrespecting me

I don't care if you don't understand
I don't care if you feel hurt
I don't care if other people like it
I don't care if you think I'm too sensitive
I don't care if you think I like it
I don't care if you didn't hear me the first time

My body is mine
My life is mine
Only I get to decide what to do with it. 

August 27, 2014

Constantly Putting Out Fires

August has been a weird month for me. We don't have a bad life, so I can't complain, but do you ever feel like all sorts of curve balls just get thrown at you at once?

I had a really bad review at work, a first for me, and I think caused by really bad communication breakdowns/misunderstandings in a whole bunch of ways.

I am trying my best to bounce back from it, and for the most part think I understand the issues, I just wish someone was more open with me earlier. Or who knows? Maybe this was the kick in the ass I needed.

In this case, no big surprise, it's my deficits in communication that hold me back. I've come a long way, but there is still improvement to be made and I am doing my best.

Things were going well with the nanny, or so I thought, until they weren't so much and then she ran off completely - with one week left before school starts. Just coming out of bad eval at work and then having no child care for a week, isn't the best timing. Hubby and I have been taking turns staying home with him and trying to get work done, but this is about as easy as herding cats. It's also not fair to him to be stuck being bored all day, but there's no one else at such short notice.

On the plus side, the weather has been nice and I was able to drop off his school supplies ahead of time, which helped a lot. He was happy to see the school again and some of the teachers were in. It's such a small school and everyone knows him by name, so they stop to chat with him.

Hubby has been dealing with his own health issues (which is good), but it's also about finding a "new normal." As usual, I feel like whenever we settle into one thing, something else comes and changes up the routine again and it's like we're constantly putting out fires.

I think this school year will be better though. Last year this time I was terrified of the unknown. Now I am truly grateful he is in such a supportive school and looking forward to the routine and predictability again. 

August 18, 2014

August Goals Update

So we're more than halfway through the month and none of you have pestered me about sticking to this month's goals. Thanks guys! :p

Luckily, for some reason I remembered them and am trying desperately to hold myself accountable. So here's the report on how I'm doing.

We're sort of going to be earlier, for the most part. At the very least, Hubby and I are getting to bed at the same time and he's also making an effort to turn in early, so yay. But there have still been some late nights for no reason other than we're frittering it away on the Internet. Boooo :(

I biked to work once and started jogging again. So yay for activity. The problem with biking to work is it's been raining a lot. Also, my work started offering not just food delivery, but dry cleaning/laundry service as well, so you can imagine I don't exactly want to try carrying groceries and laundry while biking. That's my excuse.

As for spending less time on time wasting websites? Well, I installed a Chrome extension called Stay Focused. It gives me a limit of 10 minutes a day to mess around on time-wasting sites, then it shuts it down and my screen says, "shouldn't you be working?" It's smart and it works, so there. External reinforcements keep me off Pinterest.

And the books? I haven't finished any books. I wish I had more time for books.

However, I am writing a lot and just finished a submission for The Huffington Post, so let's hope that gets accepted.

Sometimes you don't get what you expected, but it's not all bad!