November 11, 2013

Change and Fears

I have been writing tons about myself and not much about the Little Man. The fact is, things have been great. He adjusted to school life very quickly and has friends there. The big issue is our home life has recently been turned upside down. We didn't get tons of warning from the contractor when they were ready to start our home renos. We moved out to a hotel for one week, then found a small apartment near our house to let for the rest of the month. That's a lot of change for anyone!

In addition to that, I just survived a major layoff and restructuring at work. It's been a stressful couple of weeks for all of us. 

To top it off, the Little Man got a nasty virus and has been suffering for the last week. It's been really tough, but we're still hanging in there. I let Hubby deal with the house and contractors, while I try to deal with the Little Man, for the most part. This is where the fears come out.

He was anxious one morning, so I sat with him while he sat on the potty and just waiting. Suddenly his eyes welled up with tears and he said, "you're not going to be my mommy forever."

Oh my goodness, I was floored. Where did this come from? Then he said, "we're never going back to the house...".
Ah, all these changes! He thought he would lose us, as well as the house.

I reassured him, "I will always be your mama forever, no matter how old you get. And you will always be my baby forever, no matter how big you get. And I promise, we will go back to house."

The fearful connections children make in their heads are so deep. I don't know that I could have anticipated that or better prepared him. We probably should have worked up to telling him we would be living away from the house a short time before. I mean, we mentioned it, but we never specifically explained all that would happen. 

I know for next time, but then again, I hope we don't have to go through so much upheaval in so little time ever again. I could never have predicted this much change coming all at once. We can only do our best under the circumstances. 

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