November 28, 2012

Money or Children

I recently read an article in the NY Times about people choosing not to have children for financial reasons solely. (Go ahead, read it and come back. I'll wait!)

Wanna know what I think? It's silly. I think it's a lame excuse, but it comes out of societal pressure. People who wish to be childfree find themselves having to explain themselves all the time. I don't think that's right.

One, being childfree or not wanting children is a personal and perfectly valid way to be. Society needs to accept these people as they are. They are not defective, wrong, abnormal, selfish (not any more than anyone else I know!) or any other derogatory thing people accuse them of. I've said it before and it applies to most situations in life, different is not wrong!

Telling people they will regret or change their mind is like telling a straight person they will enjoy kissing someone of the same sex if they just try it out once. I really do believe being childfree is just part of how some people are wired. I think nature intended it to be that way.

It is possible that someone will regret not having kids one day, but isn't it more of a problem if you regret having them when you weren't really into the idea in the first place? You're playing with lives here! It's not like you can just return kids like an item at the store. If you are undecided, it's better to err on the cautious side and not hurt anyone else in the process.

Anyway, my point is, if you really want kids, you will find a way. They're not really all that expensive, in my opinion. They don't need a lot of things and certainly not the most expensive of any item. In fact, I've even written before how babies save you money. If you are frugal and creative, you will come up with ways to have all the essentials. But it doesn't have to cost millions.

children don't have to cost a lot of money


All this to say, I guess using money as an excuse has become socially more acceptable than just saying you don't want kids. This is good because it gives people and "out" from annoying situations, but bad because there is still work to be done for acceptance.