February 01, 2013

MILF Misogyny

don't ever call me a milf onequartermama
Let's get one thing straight: Don't ever call me a MILF. Not even in jest.

There is nothing in the acronym that is empowering for a woman.

If you don't know what MILF stands for, Google it and then come back.

It is not a compliment. If you want to have sex with me or find me attractive, just say so and leave it at that. And why would you even think that reminding me I have a kid would somehow turn me on? Why are you thinking about sex with me and associating that with the fact I have a kid? Creepy all around!

Look, you have an Oedipus Complex? Great, I'm sure you can find someone on Craigslist to help you with that, but it ain't gonna be me!

Oh, it's not about that, you say? It's about the fact I'm old and still attractive? You know that's what it's about. Any woman who doesn't look like a teenager, but still has a decent body, becomes categorized as a MILF pretty much by age 25, regardless of her motherhood status. I have an issue with that, in case you haven't noticed by now.

1) Why are teens the pinnacle of womanly beauty? Ain't there something disgusting about that?
2) Why is motherhood automatically associated with ugliness? Why does motherhood mean I have to become fat and sexless?
3) Anyone who is a mother who is not fat and sexless becomes a MILF.

These aren't questions I hope to solve in one day, because these attitudes didn't develop in one day. I want people to think about them!

Also, I can't say the number of times people have looked at me after telling them I have a child at home and said, "well, you don't look like you had a baby!" No, I don't find that a compliment because it means you thought a "woman with a kid" should look a certain way - and not in a positive way.

The fact that when I say I'm a mother and people gasp that I'm not fat is something EVERYONE, men and women alike, should be outraged about. I like to remind people that 1) the baby came out, therefore it shouldn't be a surprise I do not look pregnant any more, and 2) I didn't EAT the baby.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a fat mama. I don't care what you look like as long as you're happy. If you're not happy about yourself, by all means do something about it! My gripe is with the societal assumption that motherhood equals unattractive. Let's work to change that. Let's stop using the term MILF.